My search for intimacy started in my teens when I began to think about marriage. Like many girls my age, I hoped to find a man that would learn to meet my emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Don’t take me wrong, I knew that only God could understand my heart completely, but I also knew that I wanted to grow old with someone who would cherish me all the days of my life. I wanted to love someone deeply and longed for someone to return this love. I was a romantic, a dreamer, and I imagined that one day, I would meet my prince. Through much prayer and waiting for God’s will, I met my match. Leon and I dated, fell in love, and got married. This filled a void in my heart, but the need for intimacy is never completely satisfied. Intimacy is like a hunger that must be fed in the present and future. But what is intimacy?Intimacy is taking an introspective look into your partner’s soul. It’s the experience of emotional closeness that lights up the human soul. It occurs when two people are able to be emotionally open with one another, and reveal their true feelings, thoughts, fears, and desires. It is only when you can see the deepest parts of your spouse and accept and love him or her unconditionally, with an extreme delight, that you can be fully intimate with your spouse. This is why Proverbs 5:18 says, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth." Many people think of intimacy in terms of lovemaking. Although one type of intimacy involves sex, it is much more than that. Intimacy is also intellectual. When two people exchange thoughts, share ideas, and enjoy similarities and differences between their opinions, their relationship becomes stronger and more intimate. In the same way, when feelings are shared between a couple, the result is more understanding of self and the other person. This too is intimacy. Another way to deepen your relationship with a person is through experiences. When a couple participates in activities together, the result is a more complete view of your spouse. Experiences shared develop intimacy. As well, when a couple prays together and listen to God for answers, spiritual intimacy happens. Think of it this way, achieving intimacy happens when we connect with our mate on three levels: spirit, soul and body. Most couples need to achieve a soul connection. The soul is your mind, will, and emotions. Sharing ideas, emotions, and areas of struggle that can take relationships to new levels of satisfaction. Much of the time, men desire to connect with their wives cognitively. A friend of mine loves to sit and talk for long hours with his wife on a range of topics from politics to children. He often comments that for the conversation to be meaningful, he needs to know that his wife is listening and values his ideas and perspective. As important as all types of intimacy are, physical intimacy cannot be overlooked. Making love gives us a one of a kind feeling, and it allows us to blend our souls emotionally and spiritually. Still, as a marriage matures, it becomes more intimate because spouses learn to care for each other in all areas of life. For newlyweds, this is the expectation. Whatever your idea is a perfect mate, there’s no doubt that it involves some level of intimacy. It is my prayer that you will want to take an introspective look into your partner’s soul.