I recently chatted with a young woman I will call Lilly. She and her boyfriend were very much in love when they started dating and, like many couples, desired to step past the initial dating stage. So they moved in together, started their lives, and took a step toward a long-term commitment. But the relationship didn’t last. Lilly told me her boyfriend wasn’t ready for a commitment after all.

Most young people have a host of reasons for not wanting to talk about marriage. Those reasons vary from “I’m too young to think about marriage” to “I don’t make enough money to support a family.” Others say, “So many people get divorced—why even think about marriage? If I lived with my partner, it just would be so much easier.”

The truth is that preparing for marriage shouldn’t start the day you get married or just a few weeks before, though most people choose to do it that way. Marriage prep needs to start right now.

The sooner you understand what you need to do to have a good marriage, the easier your transition to marriage will be and the healthier your relationship with your partner will be.

You can start becoming a great spouse today. Take these steps and see what God does in your love life:

1. Understand What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like

Unfortunately, we are surrounded by bad examples of marriage and dating. Hollywood and the media try to tell us what to believe, and perhaps we know firsthand the pain of divorce because of our parents or the parents of a close friend.

So what we need to do is learn what a normal, healthy relationship is supposed to look like. Then we can start “training” our thoughts accordingly.

Go to the couples you admire and spend time observing them. What do they do? How do they speak to one another? What’s important to them? Ask them questions and learn from them.

2. Invite God to Be a Part of Your Future Romance

God wants to be a part of your life. When you ask Him to help you in the romance department, He will.

Invite God to be a part of your conversations about love, marriage, sex, and partnership. Get Him involved by asking Him to help you and guide you in your romantic life. As you do, you will realize an important truth: “Oh, wow—this is so much better than I expected it to be!”

3. Realize the Choices You Make Today Determine Your Future

Honestly, it is more important to become the one for your future spouse than it is to spend time looking for your future spouse. Becoming the one means getting spiritually and emotionally healthy, knowing what you want in life and in your future partner, and knowing how much God means to you.

If you let God do an inward work in you, you will naturally want to find the person He has for you, the one you get to love and spend the rest of your life with. You will be astounded by what God does for you and in you as you pursue becoming the one.

For more information about how you can prepare for marriage right now, click here to pre-order Salomé’s book, Becoming the One.