How God’s Love Can Help You Answer Your Dating Questions
Photo by Tom the Photographer
If you have questions about your dating life, why you’re single, or who you’re supposed to be with, one of the most important things you can do is get to know God’s love.
That might sound counterintuitive, maybe even too simple or childlike, but many of the questions people ask about relationships can be answered as they get to know their heavenly Father’s heart.
“Wait, wait. How can knowing God’s love be the answer to my dating questions? Isn’t it better to learn other things—like how to communicate? How to be a good friend? How to hold your tongue when you want to say snippy things?”
All those things are important, and they’re good to work on too. But at the end of the day, the Father’s love is what enables us to become who He made us to be—a healthy, mature, beloved child of God who knows who we are, who He is, and maybe even what we can do to help make the world a better place.
When we are filled up with His love, when we are relaxed and peaceful with who He made us to be, we can love ourselves and the special person He’s brought into our life. Where the love of God is believed and accepted, anxiety and all the questions it brings slowly dissolve away.
Here are a few ways God’s love can help you answer your dating questions.
Praying for Your Marriage Will Help You Hear God’s Voice at the Right Time
In matters of love and relationships, many people are reactive. They meet someone attractive, one thing leads to another, and they’re dating officially only a week or month later.
Though my own dating/marriage story was reactive in certain ways, I’d been praying for my future spouse for years. When Leon asked me to be his girlfriend, I sensed the Lord was pleased with our relationship. I asked Him for confirmation and He clearly said, “Yes.”
Prayer is the key to having a good relationship with your spouse because you learn to listen to God’s heart—for you, your spouse, and your marriage. Hearing His voice is the foundation of a healthy, thriving marriage.
Here’s a common example of how this works. Even if you have the most incredible relationship in the world, there will be times when you and your spouse have opposing desires. They feel one thing is important; you feel something else is important. Depending on the circumstances, you may be tempted to start complaining or to hide things from one another, but when you hear the voice of God’s Spirit, you will be prompted to think about your spouse first and begin a powerful journey in which you will see amazing blessings and favor from God.
Are you praying for your future spouse? Even if your prayers are simple and short, try to get in the habit of praying for that person. This will help you learn to listen to God’s voice, and you’ll be able to hear Him more clearly when He brings the right person across your path.
Knowing Your Heavenly Father’s Love Will Help You Love Yourself
You are God’s delight. That is true on the days when your emotions agree with His love, and it is true on the days when they don’t. On every kind of day, good or bad, it is better to believe what He says about His love for you than what your emotions might say about His love.
Pick up and hold firmly the understanding that you delight God’s heart. Learn how to live in that place of delight, and let His love be a part of your daily thinking.
Ask your heavenly Father to reveal His love to you. Spend time with Him, meditate on what the Bible says about His love, and write down the verses or phrases that really speak to your heart. His love is practical, and He will help you answer the deep questions in your heart, such as “Do I have value?” And “Am I good enough for this person?” He knows those answers.
Knowing Your Heavenly Father’s Love Will Strengthen Your Love for Your Spouse
Though a high mark for us all, 1 Corinthians 13 is the standard of love. Not many of us can say we show this kind of love every moment of every day, but if we have experienced God’s love for ourselves, we have the opportunity to express this kind of love to others.
A friend of mine recently realized that just as she can trust the Lord to love her unconditionally, she can trust Him to help her love her spouse unconditionally. The love of God “works” the same in both places. She might have weak spots in her love—places where she feels shame or is struggling—but His love comes and fills in all those places for her.
None of us are perfect in our ability to love another person, but God knows how He made us and He remembers we come from dust (Ps. 103:14). If you ask Him to open up His love inside you, He will do so. Honestly, your entire life could change with a simple, but powerful, prayer like that one.
The One Who Answers Questions is with you, and He loves you, and He has the answers you need.
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize. Other articles from Becoming the One:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.