Fear is like an evil spell that works to keep us from feeling what’s real. I experienced this “spell” at a critical moment in my life, and if I had allowed the fear to rule me, it potentially could have kept me from marrying my husband.

Leon and I met in Ecuador while he was on a missions trip. We exchanged addresses and began to write each other from two different continents. My “starter relationship” with him was nice in certain ways because he lived so far away.

Distance can make us feel safe sometimes because it doesn’t prod at our fears. The same is true with times of peace, provision, and more than enough. When everything is going well, we feel safe and don’t have to ask certain questions.

But when the distance, provision, or whatever else is taken away, the pressure starts building. If we aren’t careful, we can get swept up in fear and start to believe whatever the fear is saying—instead of the true story God is saying.

Eventually the comfortable distance disappeared for me. Leon told me he wanted to come visit. I knew he had feelings for me, and as I considered the future from a place of fear, for a time I allowed my fears to direct my thoughts. 

What was going to happen between us? What would it be like to marry someone from a totally different culture? A man from a different country and background? We didn’t even speak the same language. Ahhhhh! This relationship was probably a mistake!

My fears grew bigger and bigger, and by the time Leon arrived in Ecuador, I felt nothing for him. I didn’t have any romantic feelings for him whatsoever and became convinced I didn’t “like” him that way.

But here’s my point—that wasn’t true. This was the man God had for me, the life partner I was waiting for. But fear didn’t let me see the relationship for what it was. The situation didn’t change until I took all my fears to God and cried out for Him to help me.

If we allow fear into our thoughts, it will try to take over, and we won’t be able to feel anything but what that fear falsely proclaims.

Will We Choose Fear Instead of Jesus?

Do not yield to fear, for I am always near.
Never turn your gaze from me, for I am your faithful God.
I will infuse you with my strength
and help you in every situation.
I will hold you firmly with my victorious right hand. (Isa. 41:10 TPT)

In this time of worldwide fear, you and I as the children of God have the privilege of seeking Him. We can learn to guard our thoughts and say “no” to fear and choose to grip the Lord’s hand instead.

This could be a beautiful time of trust and intimacy, and the vital transition from fear to hope is our choice. Outside influences don’t have the power to direct us away from the peace of God. The peace that passes all understanding comes from looking at Jesus and choosing to think His thoughts.

Being at peace in this season really does come down to this simple, two-sided question: 

Will we choose fear instead of Jesus, losing all peace in the process? Or will we choose Jesus and find a kind of peace that is so deep and wondrous that it’s beyond understanding?

How, Then, Should We Think?

Put Philippians 4:8 in front of you, and no matter what the news says over the next several weeks, choose to think this way:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (NIV)

Practice “sorting” your thoughts into two barrels: Things That Are True and Things That Are Not True. Ask yourself questions about what you’re thinking:

• Is this thought actually true and right? Should I be thinking this way as a child of the King who is working all things out for my good?

• Is this thought genuinely lovely? If it isn’t, I don’t need to think it.

• Is this thought praiseworthy?

• Is it excellent?

• Is it admirable?

Complete with the Fullness of God

Instead of reaching automatically for fear, let’s fill ourselves up with God’s love, because this causes us to be complete with His fullness (Eph. 3:19). Then we can go out into a dark, fear-filled world and express the light of His love to people who need Him but don’t know where to find Him.

“Here is your God!” we get to say. “This is what He’s like, and He’ll take away all your fears.”

You who bring good news to Zion,
go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good news to Jerusalem,
lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
say to the towns of Judah,
“Here is your God!” (Isa. 40:9)

Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:

• Declaring God’s Promise over Your Future Marriage

• Are You About to Lose Hope in Your Relationship?

• Dating over 60: An Interview with Maryann

• It’s Time to Believe the Good Things God’s Saying!

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.