Many times in our marriage, I’ve asked Leon, “Honey, do you really love me?” I don’t ask because I doubt, but I ask because I love being pursued and completely cherished by him.

As women, we want the assurance that we’re going to be loved and adored by our husbands for the rest of our lives.

Men, meanwhile, need to ask other questions: “Will you honor and respect me for the rest of our lives? Will you encourage me and let me know I’m your hero?”

Honor and unconditional love go hand in hand. When we show these two precious things to the person we’re dating, we help undo what the enemy has done in their heart.

Here are three ways honor can help deepen and heal your relationship.

1. God’s heart is completely for you even after you’ve messed up. The way He honors someone has nothing to do with what that person deserves.

In Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son, the father ran to reach his wayward child. He dropped everything and rushed out to meet the boy who did not deserve to be honored. Not according to the world. But the father went out of his way to show his formerly lost son all the love in his heart. 

God honors His children when we have done nothing to deserve it. All of us have weak places and areas of pain because of the past. You’ve probably already seen some of your partner’s struggles, and they’ve probably seen some of yours. Like the father in Jesus’ parable, honor is able to look at these things and not let go of the other person. Honor holds on. 

So the young son set off for home. From a long distance away, his father saw him coming, dressed as a beggar, and great compassion swelled up in his heart for his son who was returning home. The father raced out to meet him, swept him up in his arms, hugged him dearly, and kissed him over and over with tender love. (Luke 15:20 TPT)

Are you and your partner working through some difficult questions or concerns right now? Do one or both of you feel like a failure in some way? Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and to show you how He is the loving Father in Jesus’ parable. That isn’t just a story from a long time ago—it is a description of who God is for you and your partner, even when you feel like you don’t deserve His honor. 

2. Expect to see miracles in your relationship because that’s who God is.

What does honor have to do with miracles?

Again and again in Scripture, people called to the Lord in their trouble, and He responded by saving them. They honored Him by crying out to Him, not to anyone else, and He stepped in and did something impossible. A miracle.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;
He saved them from their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death
And broke their bands apart. (Ps. 107:13–14 NASB)

The world is an interesting place these days. Not many people expect to see God step into their situation and do the impossible. But we serve the God of miracles! That’s who He is. Nothing is impossible with Jesus.

One of the best things you and your partner can do is expect miracles to happen in your relationship. Even the littlest things, the smallest blessings, are miracles. They are points of light in times of darkness. The more you expect miracles, the more you will see them.

Where are you struggling in your relationship? What do you think your partner is struggling with? Invite God to come do miracles in those areas.

3. Start to view your relationship as something holy and precious that God is deeply involved in.

Some of us don’t really understand how much God wants to be involved in our lives.

He loves us to the extent that He even knows the number of hairs on our heads. That is a level of detail we could never know about another person, but He knows it about us.

Your dating life is not outside His realm of interest and love. Instead of seeing your relationship as something beneath His notice, or potentially as something to hide from Him, “recognize” Him and acknowledge Him in this area.

In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him,
And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]. (Prov. 3:6 AMP)

If you or your partner feel shame because of past relationship decisions, take those things to God and let Him show you how they have not cut off His love. He loves you just as much today as He did before those things occurred.

Again, honor does not look at a person’s perfection or how they’ve performed in the past. Honor sees the person coming from a distance, drops everything, and races to meet them. Don’t be afraid to go to your Father and let Him heal you.

Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! Other articles from Salomé Roat and Becoming the One:

• 2 Practical Ways to Honor the Person You’re Dating

• Want to Have Great Communication in Your Dating Relationship? Here’s Where to Start

• Anxious About Marriage? Here’s Why Trust Is Good for Your Heart

• How Can I Trust God When He Hasn’t Brought My Spouse Yet?

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.