The Truth About Dating and the Love of God
A guest post by Brittney Relerford-Kumar
I was 27 years old when I celebrated my first Valentine’s Day. Simon, now my husband, was my first boyfriend. It was very nice to have someone to celebrate with, but there are things I wish I had known when I was younger.
To my younger self, I would say that you don’t need the affection of any other man besides Jesus to feel valued, important, loved.
Before any of this, before you or me, God gave His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross. That was such an act of love that no one could ever outdo. Like everything else in this world, His expression of love has itself been so convoluted that we forget what true love looks like. The world says that love can be seen, held, and bought—that it’s easily understood by everyone who sees it. But it isn’t. For those of us who know and rely on God’s love, we know that it isn’t always seen, yet we know He is there. We know that our value is not in how others see us. His love is there even when our significant other’s love is lacking.
God’s love cannot be bought. It is perfect, and there is no human flaw that would break His love for you. It is so important that we understand this because many people, myself included, have made unnecessary mistakes or gross miscalculations in a relationship because we just wanted to feel loved. Sometimes our minds go to dark places where the worst thing imaginable is to be single and alone, but the reality is that we are neither. Just because we are not in a relationship doesn’t mean we are unloved or no longer valuable, that we are disposable or insignificant. Our value was never based on those things to begin with. God loves us just as we are. He will meet us wherever we are.
There is something so encompassing about God’s love that when I am not in tune with it, even the love of my husband feels unsatisfying. It is God’s love that holds everything together.
Once we really grasp just how much God loves us, this frees us to make better decisions because we are no longer working toward the affection of just anyone. We have that strong foundation of God’s love, so we are able to build a healthy relationship on top of that. I love my husband very much, but his love does not make me feel complete.
Whether you are single, dating, or married, only God’s love can make you feel complete. You are so, so loved and adored by God, the Maker of everything.