Becoming The One

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Whenever We’re Afraid, We Need God’s Voice

Photo by Toa Heftiba

Whenever our view of God becomes clouded by other things, that’s when we start fearing the future He has for us.

“What if He doesn’t want me to get married? What if I’m going to be stuck at this job/in this apartment/in this situation forever? What if the desires of my heart don’t matter to Him? What if I’m doomed to follow in my parents’ footsteps, and there’s nothing I can do about it?”

All these questions are birthed in the waiting period—when we want something and maybe have even asked God for it, but the answer hasn’t come yet. When our prayers are answered right away, there’s very little time for us to start to worry, but the waiting process always comes with the opportunity to find healing.

If you’re dealing with fear today, the most important thing you can do is focus on the Lord and ask Him to speak to you. That’s what you need—to hear His voice and His reassurances that everything is going to be okay. Spend time with Him in prayer. Read His Word. Go through your journal, and remember what He told you in the past.

His voice heals all wounds. The broken, aching places in our hearts find rest and peace in Him. 

You will keep in perfect peace
    all who trust in you,
    all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isa. 26:3 NLT)

Does Your Fear Come from Past Hurts?

A surprising amount of fear can come from being hurt in a previous relationship of some kind: work, church, family, etc.

When I was a child, we had good, happy moments in my family, but certain situations brought mixed feelings to my heart. Sometimes the way my parents interacted with each other made me feel upset, frustrated, and even afraid.

Marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts we can receive, and equally it is one of the most challenging, fragile, and rewarding lifetime commitments we will ever make. There is no doubt that marriage requires a lot of work—good work that needs to start early, before we get married. I didn’t want my future relationship to be dysfunctional, so those times when I felt insecure, I prayed again and again, asking God for help because I needed to know His plans for me. 

When we’re in pain or are afraid we’ll encounter pain, we can start saying to ourselves, “I don’t think marriage is God’s will for me. If I get married, it will probably end in failure.” 

Or maybe our fear isn’t about marriage. Maybe it has to do with our calling or a job or something of equal importance. In this situation, pain and fear work the same way. “This hasn’t happened for me yet, so maybe God doesn’t want me to have this. He’s forgotten about me. He doesn’t care about my heart, and He isn’t paying attention to me.”

If that sounds like what you’re dealing with, work on your trust, knowing God will not disappoint you. We might disappoint others and others might disappoint us, but that isn’t what our heavenly Father is like. It’s different with Him, because He Himself is different and is not marked in any way by human sin and shortcomings.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Rom. 5:5 NKJV)

He’s a good Father, a tenderhearted Savior, and an amazing Friend who acts in our favor to give us the desires of our hearts. He goes out of His way to work inside us, so we come to want what He wants:

For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. (Phil. 2:13 NIV)

Put aside the fear for a moment and think about this: Are you willing to take a risk with God and believe that the desire of your heart might actually be from Him in the first place, and He really does want to give you this thing?

What Is God Saying to Your Heart?

Whenever we’re afraid, we need God’s voice.

So let’s check in with Him and see what He’s saying. What is He saying about our dreams? What are His thoughts about this period of waiting? Is He asking us to be courageous? If so, in what area? 

I firmly believe that if there’s a desire in my heart, it’s because God put it there. The desire exists because of Him, which means there’s life here, as well as the promise of hope (Ps. 37:4).

He’s the God of good gifts—the God of favor. The God who delights in seeing His people brought together for godly purposes that impact other people’s lives and help the world grow closer to Jesus. That’s the outcome of dreams fulfilled and fear defeated.

So don’t allow fear to lead you. If you can’t see God clearly right now, start asking Him questions, searching for truth in His Word, and journaling what you think He might be saying. 

Fear doesn’t know the words of hope—but everything God speaks is hope.

  

Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.