Is fear trying to shut down your dating life?

Do you feel like you are failing in your relationship?

Are you slowly losing hope for a good marriage and a bright future?

God wants to break you free from fear’s lies so you are able to date with the knowledge of His love and the fullness of His peace.

Fear will try to convince you that you need to pay attention to all the bad things. “Just in case! This bad thing might be true! The bad thing could happen!” But it is better to trust the Lord than it is to pay attention to fear’s arguments.  

Fear is empty. But the Lord is full.

Here are a few things to remember when fear is trying to talk to you about your dating life. 

You Can Say “No” to the Foolish Arguments of Fear

Keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments; you know that they end up in quarrels. (2 Tim. 2:23 GNT)

Getting involved in dumb arguments is a waste of time. In a manner of speaking, fear is a “dumb argument.” It tries to fill up our attention with something God is not saying, and if we listen to it, we end up in a place that does us no good. There is no benefit to listening to fear and getting involved in its arguments.

• Is fear trying to convince you that you’re making a mistake in your relationship? Do not listen to this argument. It is worthless.

• Is fear trying to tell you that you aren’t worth dating, that you’re “damaged goods,” or that you aren’t a prize? This is a dumb argument and the opposite of what Jesus is saying.

• Is fear trying to convince you that the mean things others have said about you are correct? Do not allow fear (or shame) to convince you of anything God is not saying.

Here are four things you can speak out loud to proclaim the truth of the Lord in your life:

• “God is my Father, and I am listening to Him as He leads me in my dating life.”

• “I am the beloved of the Lord. God has made me clean and given me a new heart, and I look like Him now.”

• “I am a prize. God thinks I am amazing, and His opinion is the only one that matters.”

• “I am powerful. I love well. I think well.” (See 2 Timothy 1:7.)

In the Place Where You Are Afraid and Anxious, You Can Cling to God and His Tender Mercies

He redeems me from death
    and crowns me with love and tender mercies. (Ps. 103:4 NLT)

You are crowned with the tender mercies of God. Whatever fear you’re struggling with in your dating life—whatever seems like the biggest, worst thing—you are crowned with His tender mercies in that exact place.  

• Is fear suggesting that you’ll be single forever? In that place, all God’s compassion is for you. He is right there with you, ready to comfort you.

• Are you afraid that your relationship will fall apart? In the place of that fear, you are crowned with His tender mercies. The Lord is redeeming you from death—from the lies of fear and shame.

• Are you afraid that God doesn’t have the perfect person for you or that He wants you to stay single forever? In this place of fear, you can know with certainty that all His love is for you and that He has good plans for your life, not plans to kill your heart. 

Here are five things you can speak out loud to proclaim the truth of the Lord in your life:

• “All God’s compassion is focused on me.”

• “God is doing a new thing, and my past is not my future.”

• “I am listening to God. Everything He says about me is true.”

• “My heart and its desires are precious to the Lord.”

• “He has good plans for me, not plans to harm me.”

This Next Week…

Israel, the Lord who created you says, Israel, the Lord who created you says, “Do not be afraid—I will save you. I have called you by name—you are mine. When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you.” (Isa. 43:1–2 GNT)

See? You don’t need to expect bad things in your dating life. You can expect the good things of the Lord instead. This week when fear tries to speak to you, remember: God is with you. He is with you. He is with you.

Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! Check out Becoming the One by Salomé Roat to learn more.

“Awesome book!” (Amazon Review)

“Loved this well written, candid, and thought provoking book!” (Amazon Review)

“In a culture that puts so much emphasis on ‘finding the one,’ it is refreshing to read the importance of ‘becoming the one’ in a relationship.” (Amazon Review)