God’s Love Gives You the Courage to Date
Photo by Gustavo Fring
Does the thought of dating make you anxious?
Have you been hurt by a relationship before, and now it’s hard to imagine starting over with someone new?
Even though you want to meet the right person and get married—does the thought of meeting them tie your stomach in knots?
Here are a few simple thoughts about the love of God and how His affection for you can bring you courage.
Remember, His love is not based on how you perform. It is okay to be nervous about doing something new. Feeling afraid is not a mark against your character. You might be terrified at the thought of stepping out of your comfort zone—but the love of the Lord remains the same. His arms are around you, and He loves being able to call you His child.
God’s love conquers the fear of man in your dating relationship.
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me? (Ps. 118:6 NIV)
When we are afraid of people and how they might hurt us, we can end up shutting down in situations where we need to be alive and thriving. A strong fear of man (or the fear of being rejected) can make us feel like dating is impossible.
“I can’t do this.”
“This is beyond me.”
“I am going to be rejected.”
“This person is going to hurt me.”
Does that sound like you?
If you struggle with fear, anxiety, or worry when you are dating, pray about Psalm 118:6, and ask the Lord to speak to you through it. Consider these questions: What does His presence mean for your dating life? How does His favor influence your relationship? Write down what He whispers to you.
Declarations based on Psalm 118:6:
“The Lord is with me as I date.”
“There is no reason for me to be afraid when I’m getting to know someone new. God is for me, and He will take care of me.”
“I can bring all my anxiety and worry to the Lord and trust Him to take care of me.”
“God is going to take care of me. He is my Father, and that is just what He does. It is natural for Him.”
A courage-building activity based on Psalm 118:6: Go do something this week that you don’t normally do. It can be a “small” thing. Maybe you could go to a new coffee shop and read a book. Maybe you could go for a walk in a park you don’t normally go to. Or maybe you could text a friend and invite them to go hiking with you—or shopping or to a new café. The point is to take one little step outside your comfort zone, trusting that God is with you and will keep you safe. Gird up your courage, and dare to relax in His love for you.
God’s love conquers feelings of shame and unworthiness in your dating relationship.
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me. (Isa. 49:15–16 NIV)
Some of us doubt ourselves and believe we are not good enough or that all we have to offer is “broken.”
“I’m not good enough. My love for this other person isn’t good enough.”
“I make bad decisions with the opposite sex.”
“I cannot trust myself in this relationship—I am not trustworthy.”
“All I do is struggle in dating relationships. I can’t do them well.”
“It is better for me to stay single, because dating is too hard/dangerous for me.”
Here are a few ideas for how you can connect with God’s love and come to rely on it at a deeper level. This will help you stop doubting yourself so much.
Do you know what your heavenly Father is saying about you? Every time you determine you will believe Him—not the world, the enemy, or your past—you strike a strong blow against self-doubt.
Do you understand that you are not what you struggle with? You are not your shortcomings. They are not “you.” God separates you from these things (Rom. 7:15–25).
You are beautiful to the Lord (Song 4:7). That is how you need to start seeing yourself.
You do not need to accept any “voice” in your mind or heart that whispers to you, “You are not trustworthy. You should doubt yourself, because you have problems!” That voice is not trying to help you. God sees the truth about you, and He says you are holy (Acts 10:15; Col. 3:12).
Declarations based on Isaiah 49:15–16:
“God has not forgotten me, no matter how I might feel today.”
“It is impossible for Him to forget me.”
“He has so much compassion for me when I am struggling.”
“He has made me a part of His heart.”
”I am ever before Him.”
Do you understand that you look like Jesus now?
When you understand that Jesus literally changed you to make you look like Him, this will give you courage.
“I am not a mess. I am not a failure. I am not my sins.”
“I look like Jesus.”
“He has made me holy.”
A lot of people struggle to be brave because they don’t see themselves the way God sees them. They think they are “bad” or shameful or a constant failure.
But the truth is, you look like Jesus now! This is not something you have earned, but it is something He earned when He went to the cross and rose again. He changed you and made you holy. You and Jesus occupy the same space now:
God has brought us back to life together with Christ Yeshua and has given us a position in heaven with him. (Eph. 2:6 NOG)
That is why you can be courageous as you date or do anything else, child of God. Remember who you are now because of Jesus—and take heart.
Does your heart need to remember who God is? Check out these other devotions:
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! For more about His amazing, unending love, check out Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.