“Help! How Do I Get Rid of Anxiety in My Dating Relationship?!”
Are you a nervous dater?
Is it easy for you to be anxious and worried and harder for you to be at rest?
Here are three ways you can find greater peace in your dating relationship.
1. Set the eyes of your heart on the Lord, not on the person you are dating.
Her husband Joseph, since he was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. But when he had thought this over, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” (Matt. 1:19–20 NASB)
If Mary had focused on Joseph and his reaction to her pregnancy, she would have been an emotional wreck.
“O God! He wants to break up with me!”
“What am I going to do? What is the Baby going to do?”
“Lord, I need this man to be my husband, and he is planning on sending me away. Everything is ruined.”
But none of these things needed to be a concern for her, because God had the situation under control.
Sometimes we can focus on our dating relationship more than we focus on the Lord, and this increases our anxiety. We were created to look at the Lord first. He needs to have the King’s spot in our heart. We can trust Him with every part of our relationship, knowing He will do what needs to be done, just like He did with Joseph and Mary.
This week, ask the Lord to help you set your gaze on Him.
2. Spend a lot of time sitting quietly in God’s presence, without distractions.
Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child [resting] with his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me [composed and freed from discontent]. (Ps. 131:1–2 AMP)
Sometimes we can be anxious because we are trying to focus on too many things at the same time. We are trying to listen to too many voices. When we set aside all the “extra” voices and just spend time sitting quietly with the Lord, like a contented child on their parent’s lap, we will find our calm again.
John Paul Jackson used to say, “Peace is the potting soil of revelation.” We need a level of quietness in our heart, without noisy distractions, so we can hear God’s voice. And when we have heard His voice, we regain our confidence.
As often as you can this week, spend a few minutes in quietness with the Lord.
3. Understand that the Lord knows how to change your heart and the heart of your significant other.
The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord,
Like the rivers of water;
He turns it wherever He wishes. (Prov. 21:1 NKJV)
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. (Phil. 2:13 NLT)
Many people struggle with fear during their single years:
“What if I never meet the right person?”
“What if the right person comes along, but they don’t notice me?”
“What if I’m not attractive enough?”
“What if it’s my fault I’m single? What should I do? I don’t know!”
Then when they do meet the right person, the worry is still there, but the questions change:
“What if they break up with me?”
“What if this is a HUGE mistake?”
“What if we aren’t a good match?”
One way we start to dismiss these fears is by realizing the Lord knows how to move people. He not only gives us the desire to go after the good things He has for us, but He also gives us the strength we need to do what needs to be done at the right moment.
The Lord knows how to move the hearts of kings. He knows what to do, and He can get it done. We are not alone in the dating process; the God of all humanity is with us, and He knows exactly how our heart works and how the heart of our significant other works. He leads and guides and directs, and entire nations rise and fall based on His movements. This God spoke and created the world—we can certainly trust Him to direct us and our dating partner wherever He wants us to go. The king’s heart sits in His faithful hand.
This week, ask the Lord to reveal to you the truth of Proverbs 21:1 in regard to your dating life.
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize, and He doesn’t want you to live in fear and worry. For more about His amazing, unending love, check out Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.
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