I’m sure, like me, you’ve spent countless hours shopping for that perfect gift. Let’s say you have a boyfriend, and his birthday is coming up. He’s very particular, and you don’t want to get him something he won’t like. Money is tight. What do you get? We all know what this is like. Giving gifts is loads of fun, but it’s pretty complicated. As you wind down the aisles of the store in your search for the perfect gift, it hits you; the best thing I can give my man is me! He’s going to appreciate things, but only if I’m attached. Really, you are the gift.Through 26 years of marriage, I have found that the best gift I can give to my spouse is me. When it comes to relationships, you’re a gift to those who know you and love you. By spending time with those you love and who love you, you’re giving a priceless gift. Giving yourself as a gift, in the context of marriage, means becoming who God intended you to be. In other words, we must develop our character in order to have something to give to those we love.

Rely on the Lord Developing your character means relying on the Lord and surrendering to His will. Surrender is not a word we use every day, but in order to rely on the Lord, we must surrender to the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. When I started to know more and more about the character of God, and the love that He had for me, my spirit soared and my soul became content. God is the only one that can completely know every detail of my life and can heal my past hurts and make me whole. Another way to rely on the Lord is to pray. Why do you have to pray so much some might ask? Talking and listening to the Lord or prayer is the best way of relating to God. Many think that a short prayer would do and sometimes it does, but we must spend time with God in order to get to know Him. God cares about the heart and the intention of the person and not the length of the prayer. Most importantly, God desires a continual intimate relationship with us where we allow him into every part of our lives.

Be Authentic One of the best gifts you can give in relationships and marriage is to be authentic. Be yourself! There is no one quite like you. It’s God that has always helped me and keeps on helping me to be the best version of myself. It’s His Spirit that reminds me of all these truths when I forget. I was happy before I met Leon because my happiness came from being in God’s loving arms despite the circumstances swirling around me, but I have to say, I’m even happier now because I married a godly man that loves me the way God says to love--even with all my flaws.

Commitment It is my commitment to God, first, that helps me in my commitment to my husband. Being faithful and showing honor towards your husband can be challenging unless the Holy Spirit prompts you to repent, be humble, and ask for forgiveness. It is God’s Spirit that helps me to forgive and move on when I feel offended. This has led me to want to know more about God and how to be a better wife, mother, and person. This has also helped me to become a better communicator, to ask for help, to read books that will help me grow, and to admit the many mistakes and sins I’ve committed. Because I am willing to open God’s Word and check my actions with what God says, I understand the areas of my character that need improvement. The desire of learning has given me the ability to try for something better and to never lose hope. In order to keep on learning, I ask God for His wisdom and a humble heart so I can have a teachable heart. My prayer is that you’d realize that you’re both a gift to those in your life and a gift to your spouse.