Fearless REST in Your Dating Relationship
Photo by Shea Rouda
I think this year took us all by surprise—in a number of unfortunate ways. Some of us have financial concerns; some of us have health concerns, safety concerns, relationship concerns, and we just feel exhausted. Right now my family and I are working to bring my nephew to the United States for the treatment he desperately needs, but we keep encountering obstacles. We find ourselves having to trust the Lord and His timing at a level we didn’t anticipate.
So today I just want to remind all of us of a simple truth about our Father. Something good and potent—but simple enough that our bruised and battered hearts can accept it.
One of the most important things we can do in a marriage or dating relationship, in business, in school, or in anything else is rest in God’s presence. No matter what we happen to be struggling with, the practice of rest in His presence brings health and beautiful wholeness. It binds our hearts to Him and, in a relationship, with that of our partner.
When our eyes are on God and we’re resting in Him, our hearts start to remember, “Oh yes. This is why I’m here. This is what’s important in my life.”
Are You Weary Today?
Resting in God’s presence isn’t always easy. That might be especially true right now when the entire world is reeling, and all of us are trying to pick up the pieces of this year.
But Matthew 11:28–29 remains true, and it applies to the very thing we’re worried about today: our relationship, our job, our bank account, our health, someone else’s health, etc.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (NIV)
God wants you to relax, enjoy your life, and rest in Him. If you aren’t sure what that means for you in your situation—perhaps your life feels crazy right now, or perhaps you and your partner are struggling—go to Him and ask. He has a big heart, and He happily gives wisdom to those who need it (Jas. 1:5).
“Father, what does it mean for me to rest in You today? What are You saying to my heart? What do You want to tell me about my partner? How can I be an unexpected blessing to my partner today?”
One Way Rest Will Impact Your Relationship
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him. (Ps. 62:5)
Many of us feel safer and freer in a relationship when we’re able to rest in the assurance that we’re under God’s protection. He’s looking out for us. He isn’t against us, but He actually fights for us, and He treasures who we are.
He doesn’t look at us and say, “Hurry up. Grow up. If you were just better at this, your life wouldn’t be so hard.” That’s the voice many of us “hear,” but it isn’t our Father’s voice.
Instead He says, “I am your Father, and I’m holding your hand, and I will help you.” His voice means help, healing, and provision in all things. His voice is life for us and our loved ones (Matt. 4:4).
An atmosphere of rest is something we learn to build over time, with lots of starts and stops and tries and repeated attempts. It’s okay if we don’t get it right the first time, and it’s okay if we have to grow. When we come to Him, He’ll give us rest. That’s His nature and His heart.
Try to cultivate an atmosphere of rest in all areas of your life. If you’re in a relationship, find ways for you and your partner to take time off to enjoy God’s presence, goodness, and beauty together. That may be just what your relationship needs. If you have questions about your relationship, you’ll be able to hear your Father’s voice much more clearly in a place of fearless rest.
What If You Don’t Know How to Pray?
If life is hard and it’s been hard for a while, you might not even know how to pray. But that’s all right. If the words aren’t coming, here are a few ideas:
Father God, I want to trust You in all things, including this relationship.
Thank You that I get to do what You tell me instead of what the world tells me.
Please reveal the truth of Your Word to me in the area where I’m struggling the most.
Forgive me for listening to fears and doubts more than I’ve listened to You.
Teach me what it really means to acknowledge You in all my ways, including this one: ___________ (Prov. 3:6).
I trust You to help me.
Go right to the One who can help you find your peace. He’s very good with finding things. Tell Him what you’re feeling, and ask Him to help you and your partner in this season.
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.