My friend—a woman I will call Tina—has wanted to fall in love with a good man and get married for years. But she has a problem. Several of her past relationships ended poorly, and she’s had a hard time letting go of the hurt. It’s like she’s stuck. 

Maybe you’re already in a relationship or married, and you’ve found yourself struggling to let go of hurt and resentment. More important, maybe you haven’t realized that it is truly and sincerely all right to place all that pain in your heavenly Father’s hands. 

Forgiveness might seem like an odd topic for a Christmas article, but this is the season for giving, and one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves, God, and the people around us can’t be wrapped up and set under the tree. 

When we choose to let go of the pain—forgiving the person or people who hurt us and forgiving ourselves for the role we played—we are empowered to be the men and women God created us to be. 

This Christmas, perhaps it is time to give the excellent, beautiful gift of letting go. 

What Does God Desire for You? 

The true meaning of Christmas is a common topic this time of year. It is so common, in fact, that some of us have a hard time paying attention. 

What can you do this Christmas season to reconnect your heart to the Father—focusing on the amazing gift He gave you, personally, two thousand years ago? 

Each of these “Christmas facts” has the power to transform hurting hearts:

• We are here to know and love God.

• Christmas exists because God wanted us to be with Him.

• God gave us everything—just everything.

• Through God’s gift at Christmas, we have the power to forgive others.

• We have the power to choose God just as He has chosen us.

• Accepting His love for us is an amazing gift we can give to our heavenly Father.

Sometime this Christmas season, spend time with your heavenly Father and ask Him, “What does Your heart desire for me?” Write down what He says, so you have record of it.

How Does God Want You to Show Your Love?

For years I’ve heard my pastor say that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Unfortunately, I have seen people literally and figuratively “fade from life” because they haven’t forgiven.  

Danny Silk writes about forgiveness this way:

Forgiving people from our heart, in a way that it completely changes how we see them and interact with them, is a big deal in the kingdom. It’s actually such a big deal that unforgiveness is poisonous to our love and our community, the very community that Jesus has put on display.

Christmas can be a difficult time because we are often thrust into family and friend dynamics that are uncomfortable or stressful. We might end up sitting next to someone we haven’t been able to forgive because of the way they hurt us. Some of us might have to see a former boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse this season. Or perhaps there is already significant tension in our current relationship. We haven’t forgiven this other person yet, which means that we haven’t truly moved on. Lots of painful emotions can surface this time of year. 

As you hang out with friends and family, drink hot cocoa, and watch Christmas movies, I encourage you to take a few minutes and ask God what you can do to make one of your relationships better. 

Is there someone you care about, but you haven’t been able to forgive them for hurting you? Is there someone you resent or wish you didn’t have to see? 

If you can, ask God how you could mend that relationship, and do what you feel He is leading you to do. 

Do You Love Yourself?

I think the best gift any of us can give to God is letting go of the things that have caused us pain, suffering, and resentment. We put those things safely in His hands and say, “I trust You, Father, and believe that You really can heal my heart. With Your help, I can actually move on and forgive this person.” 

You never have to move on alone. God is right here and He will help you. 

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more.

You can also order the book in Spanish. Click here.