Tips for Marriage and Dating in the Middle of COVID-19
Photo by Pille-Riin Priske
Right now I am 3,800 miles away from my husband and kids, but I’m with the people who need me the most. My dad passed away a couple of months ago, and my mother is in a vulnerable season of life.
Originally I flew down for a family emergency—an emergency that ended well, I might add—days before the government prohibited international flights. When I boarded the plane in California, I wasn’t thinking I would get stuck in Ecuador. A lot of things have changed now.
But as I look at the situation, I feel like God brought me here to spend time with my mom and to support my loved ones in ways I never would have imagined. This makes me feel loved.
Even though I can’t leave right now and I’m missing my hubby and kiddos, I know that our heavenly Father is protecting them. He’s showing them amazing things from His heart—the same things I’m learning from here.
I am convinced that in everything, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. That is simply His truth for you and me, and it will remain true over the long haul. We can build our lives on Romans 8:28, because it is a sure and steady foundation:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV)
No matter what happens, God will use it for our good.
Here are a few dating and marriage scenarios that are playing out in the world right now—and the truth of God that “matches” them.
Wherever you find yourself in the following categories, now is the time for HOPE, not despair. God is coming, and He’s about to change everything.
What to Do If You’re Single
Several friends of mine have a promise from God that they will be married soon. But they’re single and don’t know anyone they’re interested in dating—and now they can’t even leave their house to go hang out somewhere and meet people.
At first glance, it seems the coronavirus could “delay” the fulfillment of the promise God has given you.
But even in a season like this, it is possible for God to give you the desires of your heart and still bring your marriage partner. This is GOD we’re talking about, and if He’s given you a promise, that promise is still in play.
So if you’re single and waiting right now, choose to see this season for what it is: an opportunity for you to breathe life into your relationship with Jesus, who is the heart of your heart. He is always good to His word.
Steps for Wholeness
Put your trust in God and fall in love with Him more than ever.
Pray for your future spouse. Ask God to show you what your spouse is struggling with in this season so you can bring it before Him in prayer.
Meet with other people virtually. Share what God is doing in your heart and encourage each other.
Be attentive to God’s voice. Keep in mind there are people who need to hear what you’ve been hearing from Him.
What to Do If You’re Married and Struggling
While many people are using this time to strengthen their marriages, many others are losing hope and starting to think the next step is divorce. This quarantine is forcing people to look their issues in the eye, and for thousands around the world, that is almost scarier than getting sick.
But I firmly believe that God wants to do something in marriages and families during this season of seclusion. It’s time for the resetting of our hearts and value systems.
If you’re losing hope for your marriage, understand you’re in a dark valley—but not one you need to fear because God is right beside you.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. (Ps. 23:4)
God is giving you an opportunity to find healing for your heart and renew your life-giving trust in the Lord of the impossible. He is with you, and He wants to help you. Don’t listen to any voice that whispers there is no hope for your marriage.
Steps for Wholeness
Put your trust in God and fall in love with Him more than ever.
Do something special for your spouse.
Ask God to help you see your partner the way He sees them. Sit down with Him in private, and write down whatever He shows your heart about this person. If He gives you something to do for or with your spouse, be brave and do it.
See yourself the way God sees you: beautiful and pure through the blood of Jesus.
What to Do If You’re Dealing with Depression or Shame
Some of us don’t do well when we have long periods of alone time. We start to focus on our issues—the areas where we’re failing or need help—and find ourselves growing more and more depressed. Just the thought of being trapped in the house for days and weeks on end makes us nervous.
But here’s what we need to remember: The God of love, forgiveness, salvation, mercy, and power gave His life so we could be with Him forever. With that choice, He boldly declared: “This is who I am, and this is what I want for you. This is how valuable you are to My heart.”
There is no room for fear, shame, or depression when we understand how much God really loves us.
Steps for Wholeness
Put your trust in God and fall in love with Him more than ever.
Virtually connect with family and friends who know you and can speak truth to your heart when you need it.
Write God’s truth on notecards and repeat it out loud as a declaration. “This is who God is. This is what He says. This is His heart for me.”
Ask God for something to do during the quarantine—an activity that breathes life into your heart and helps other people as well.
What COVID-19 Really Is
COVID-19, like any sickness, has come as a lying and fearful spirit that puts us in a position of choosing how much power we’re going to give it.
Are we going to trust in the goodness of our Savior, who gave everything for us? Or are we going to give the coronavirus a power it shouldn’t have in our lives?
From a Kingdom perspective, you and I are living in one of the greatest times in history. That statement might seem radical, but it’s true. Look at the situation—God chose us to hold on to Him and believe Him in the midst of worldwide fear. That opportunity is no small matter. We get to live in the power of His amazing love, grace, and mercy, putting His light on display for the world.
So from my mother’s home in Ecuador, I bless you with the abundance of our loving heavenly Father! Please don’t hesitate to send Becoming the One your prayer requests.
Also, if you’re interested in helping people connect with God and become the one, even in this season, consider hosting a virtual BTO group from the privacy of your home. Contact us at btomovement@gmail.com for more information.
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.