Make Peace with God’s Timing in Your Dating Life
Photo by Lucija Ros
I’m still surprised when people want to know instantly if somebody is “the one.” I used to think that way too, so I understand the sentiment, but that isn’t how dating works.
Getting to know someone takes time. We have to slow down, spend time with that person, listen to God carefully, and follow His leading.
Unfortunately, in this area of marriage and relationships, many people allow desperation to guide their steps. They feel almost frantic when they think about meeting their spouse.
“I have to find this person. I won’t be able to relax and enjoy my life until I conquer singleness and meet my spouse. Life doesn’t start until I get married. That’s just the way it is. If I’m still single by such-and-such age, something must be wrong with me.”
Do you hear the fear wrapped up in that thinking? Those thoughts simply aren’t true, because they don’t line up with the truth of God, who has no fear.
A huge number of people end up in relationships or marriages that don’t fully reflect God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will for them. This often happens because they didn’t know how to wait or how to listen to the Lord’s voice, allowing Him to lead them in His timing.
But fear doesn’t have to be the fire behind your decision-making.
Decide today to trust the Lord, even in the face of time and waiting. This will allow you to step away from fear.
My wonderful husband and I lived in different nations, which means I had to uncover the truth about him slowly and across the miles. He visited me in Ecuador, and I flew to the United States to get to know him better and meet his family and friends. Much of his nature, personality, and heart I found out as I spent time with him, asking questions and seeing him interact with family and friends at church, work, and in everyday life.
I really wanted to know if Leon was the right man for me, but the truth could not be exposed like a weather forecast or the definition of a word in the dictionary. I had to get to know him over time, and I had to allow the peace of the Lord to be a part of the process. God helped me understand His perfect will for me as I prayed and listened to His voice.
If you’re getting to know someone right now, let your heart be at peace.
Relax, and allow the Lord to introduce you to His truth at the proper time.
I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous! (John 14:27 TPT)
There is no rush. In fact, if you feel rushed and like you have to find your spouse, I feel comfortable saying that you’re probably listening to a voice that does not belong to God.
He’s the God of peace. His plans and activities often take time. He doesn’t follow the world’s schedule, but He knows what He’s doing.
To do this well—to date well, to get to know this person well, to realize what’s true, to know the beautiful delight of God inside your heart—you need to take a deep breath, set your gaze on Him, and let Him tell your story.
John Paul Jackson used to say, “Peace is the potting soil of revelation.” We are the children of God, and He loves us. We have no reason to fear, not even in this area of relationships and meeting the right person.
Give yourself time with God—and time with this person you’re interested in. Don’t be afraid to wait.
Take your time and get to know this person, to see their heart, to hear what that heart is saying. That’s where a solid, truthful relationship is born. When you marry a friend like that—when that kind of relationship is your foundation—your marriage won’t fall apart. Don’t wait forever, but don’t be afraid of waiting.
Take the time to walk in peace and make wise decisions, because this will produce life for you and your future family.
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.