Are You About to Lose Hope in Your Relationship?
Photo by Ian Chen
If you’re worried about your relationship, what can you do?
When I ask couples why they decided to separate, in most cases they talk about losing hope. They feel like they tried everything and nothing else could be done. They may not use the word hopelessness, but I can often hear it in their responses.
But I firmly believe that with God, there is no such thing as an impossibility.
He is the God of hope—we could call Him the source of hope, which means it is unnatural for us to be without hope. Why? Because hope is our Father. His nature and heart flow through our veins.
As long as we cling to Him and ask for help, I believe there is always going to be a way. So in those times when we feel there is no way and that all hope is lost, we need to change our thinking. Instead of letting those thoughts and feelings rule the day, we need to say “no” and stop them in their tracks.
It is time to reengage our will with the belief that the Holy Spirit will always provide in every area of our relationship.
Here are a few truths about God that apply to you and your relationship today.
1. God wants to build you up. Change is coming, and you can trust Him to make you stronger than ever.
And then, after your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who has called you to share in his eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger than ever. Yes, he will set you firmly in place and build you up. (1 Peter 5:10 TPT)
2. God wants to help you in this season of trial and pain. Give Him your full attention because this produces strength inside you and completely fills up your internal hope tank.
But those who wait for Yahweh’s grace
will experience divine strength.
They will rise up on soaring wings and fly like eagles,
run their race without growing weary,
and walk through life without giving up. (Isa. 40:31)
3. God is not afraid of your weak places or the mistakes that try to trap you in shame. He has the power to take these things and turn them into points of strength in your life—this is a miracle, something the world would say is impossible.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Rom. 8:28 NIV)
4. God is going to deliver you. Don’t allow the voice of fear to tell you what’s real, because the Lord is coming and He knows how to save you. He is your glory in ways you didn’t think were possible.
Many are saying of me,
“God will not deliver him.”
But you, Lord, are a shield around me,
my glory, the One who lifts my head high. (Ps. 3:2–3)
I am learning to see challenges in my marriage not as “holes” in the road but as growth moments.
In moments when I feel disconnected, upset, or discouraged because of my behavior or my husband’s, I try to view the challenge as an opportunity for the Lord to teach us a life lesson.
I don’t say those words with a flippant attitude. “Yay! A life lesson!” But I speak from a place of experience because I’ve come to understand that the correction of God is a sweet and precious thing, and I need it. His voice builds a perfect foundation that allows me to stand strong in difficult seasons. As I put what He says and teaches me into practice, my hope learns to laugh at storms (Matt. 7:24–27).
Over the years God has taught Leon and me lessons that are capable of changing the world as we tell our testimony and share with others the amazing things God has said and done. As a result of the Lord’s voice, Leon and I are better people today than we were back in the beginning.
That’s just one of the many, many results of putting our hope in God. His Spirit is our biggest encourager, comforter, teacher, and daily companion.
No matter how difficult your relationship may feel at times, never give up your hope that God will do exactly what He said and cause this pain to work out for your good.
If you’re having a hard time in your dating or marriage relationship, quickly do two things:
Speak to God about it. Take your relationship before Him and don’t listen to the voice of fear or shame.
Find help. Reach out to trusted friends or mentors for prayer, counseling, and coaching. Don’t allow bad patterns of behavior to exist between you and your partner.
The nature of God is to build up, bless, restore, and carry you from glory to glory. Don’t lose heart—because God is coming. He will establish you and make you strong.
And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (2 Cor. 3:18)
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.