As wonderful as marriage is, it should never be the ultimate goal of our lives.

Many young people end up believing, “Marriage is the answer! If I’m not married, I’m not successful.”

But that isn’t true. The only thing that can completely satisfy every longing of our lives is relationship with God. Closeness with Him fills the hole inside our hearts in a way marriage can’t.

If you’re waiting to meet your future spouse, keep the following points in mind: 

1. It’s okay to be single. 

Marriage has its benefits—but so does singleness.

As a single person, you don’t have to wait to have a great life. You can have it right now. You get to pursue your dreams, be passionate about what you do, and grow as a person. Don’t waste this special period of singleness by spending all your time wishing for the future.

There’s something really cool about knowing that your destiny is SO big that you’re not meant to share it with anyone. At least not yet. 

— Mindy Hale, author of The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

2. You are special and worth knowing just as you are.

When people or spiritual forces attack, they go after those aspects of your character you hold most dear—that is, they attack your identity, which is the core of who you are.

When this happens, you can respond the same way Jesus did: with God’s Word and the truth you know about yourself (Matthew 4:3).

“This is who I am. This is how He made me. I have no reason to be afraid.” 

During this time of singleness, prepare your heart. Get to know yourself better, and be expectant of God’s truths, His blessings, and the great things He has for you, including a spouse. Learn how to be content with what you have right now. 

In all seasons of the unknown, we have a choice to either be a victim in the tension, or enter into a deeper dependency upon God. 

— Bethany Bell

3. God is good and He loves you.

Many people don’t have a good view of God. They believe He is angry, absent, punishing, boring, legalistic, etc.

But these negative beliefs will change as we get to know Him for who He truly is. He really is good, and He has the best for us. Never will there be a reason for us to fear His plans (Jeremiah 29:11).

The Lord knows us well and loves us perfectly. Our connection with Him changes us and allows us to love and experience intimacy in human-to-human relationships more freely. We can’t consistently demonstrate deep affection toward someone if we’ve never experienced being loved by God. So if we want to love our spouse one day, the best thing we can do is get to know God and how He loves us right now. That is the secret.

Single Christians living in purity and community are billboards for the sufficiency of Jesus.

— Peter Hubbard

A Beautiful, Bountiful Choice

You’re on a path to finding the perfect mate—the one God has designed for you. In the midst of this time of singleness, you have a choice. 

You can stare at your singleness and feel more alone than ever.

Or you can turn your gaze on Jesus and focus on Him, which allows you to discover your heart. “Oh, this is why I’m alive! I know who I am now and have a MUCH better idea of what I want.”

Intimacy with Jesus is the starting point for everything else.

 

Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:

• The Best Way to Conquer the Fear of Being Single

• Is It Okay to Date Someone Who Has a Different Sexual Past Than You Do?

• Are You Anxious About Being Single?

• Help! How Does a Shy Person Get a Date?

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.