What If God Brings You a Spouse You Didn’t Expect?
What do you expect your future marriage to look like?
Our expectations are good when they line up with the Lord’s heart. There are certain things we already know we want: someone who is mature and can control their passions, who loves the Lord and shares our desires for family. We can see how those things are important.
But sometimes God asks us to trust Him in ways we didn’t expect. In those situations, life becomes more of an adventure than anything we thought possible, and we discover the Lord is bigger and better than we imagined. This kind of trust takes courage.
Leon is a wonderful man, and he met many of my expectations. As we built our friendship, I saw how much he loved the Lord, which was special to me. Also he treated people with respect, and he wasn’t the type of person who bounced from relationship to relationship. He was and is a man of high moral character and integrity. Thank God I followed His leading and discovered that Leon and I had so many things in common! I came to love Leon dearly.
But there was one area of compatibility where we struggled—communication. Until he moved to Ecuador, he didn’t speak Spanish fluently and I understood English better than I spoke it. Our conversations were okay, but neither of us understood the other person 100 percent of the time. I was concerned about our cultural differences and potential barriers we might not navigate well because we didn’t grow up in the same country. Or even in similar countries.
Even though many of my expectations were met in Leon, the thought of a cross-cultural marriage brought me some unease. Did I really want to take this risk?
In the end, absolutely. Yes with all my heart. Leon is so very worth all adventures and risks. Over the years we’ve needed to listen carefully to one another’s heart, get over ourselves, and work together, but we’ve discovered that the “incompatible” areas are actually fertile ground. As we’ve worked through our differences, we’ve grown even closer.
Certain Risks Are Worth It
When the Lord asks us to “grow” our expectations and do something we didn’t expect to do, such as marrying someone from a different country, He will lead us forward in faithfulness. We can trust Him to work out the details:
So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. (Rom. 8:28 TPT)
That’s what the Lord does when we trust Him. He pours Himself into our lives, and we learn He really does mean it when He says He loves us and will be with us forever. When He invites us to step out of our comfort zone, He takes the “hard” places and turns them into light. When God is leading us, the risk will always be worth it.
So what do you expect your marriage to look like? What do you expect your spouse to be like? Learn to trust the Lord in these things. Seek His heart.
If He asks you to go a direction you didn’t expect, know there’s great joy in saying “yes” to Him.
Where is the Lord asking you to trust Him today? Maybe it’s with your future marriage, or maybe it’s an issue at work or in a friendship. Ask Him to reveal His truth to you, and journal what He shows your heart.
A Prayer for Your Future Relationship
Father, please teach me how to live in Your Spirit and show me how to hear Your voice. I want to make all my decisions according to Your heart and do everything with You. Please help my future spouse to do the same, and transform us to be more like Jesus. I choose to trust You with my marriage and my other dreams. Amen.
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.