My Marriage Secret


In my last post, I shared about a woman that I met and the conversation we had. One of the pearls of wisdom that I shared with her about marriage involved how working through conflicts can be healthy for your marriage. My conversation with my new friend continued that afternoon as I told her about the early years of my marriage to Leon Roat. In the beginning of our marriage, the level of intimacy with God and each other helped us manage the challenges we faced. One of the toughest periods of our early marriage relationship involved the miscarriage of two babies. The sense of loss overwhelmed Leon and I, but God reassured me that Leon knew exactly what I needed at that time of sorrow. I had a loving husband that comforted me with his great faith and loved me even when I was losing hope. Leon didn’t understand every single feeling and emotion I went through, but he knew how to love and take care of my heart during that tender time. I’m glad to say that God sustained me through those years and blessed me with three children. Leon and I faced the challenges of parenting together and learned how to compliment and challenge each other as our children went through early childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. Raising children can be a test for a marriage relationship, especially when your spouse has a different style than you are accustomed to.

There are three truths that God imparted to me to help keep my marriage relationship strong: the foundation of my Christian faith, obedience to God, and emulating the humility of Christ. The foundation of my life is my faith in God. My Father is my creator, Jesus is my Savior, my healer, the lover of my soul, the Holy Spirit is my comforter, and my best friend. Knowing God’s character helps me to better understand who I am. Understanding who God made me to be helps me to be a better marriage partner.

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” Psalm 18:2.

God created me with the ability to make decisions, and I choose to obey my Father’s wishes because I know he wants the best for me. When you know that obeying God brings blessings to your life, you start obeying Him not only because you want to prosper, but out of gratefulness. Obedience is an act of love, that has many rewards.

“Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning.” 2 John 1:6.

Humility is a virtue that you develop as you get closer to the heart of Jesus. He came to this earth to show us the way to the Father by sacrificing his own life. This is the definition of humility. In the same way, I need to love my spouse.

“True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life.” Proverbs 22:4.

As I explained these truths to my new friend, it occurred to me how the Lord helped me through some of the toughest times of my married life. God also showed me how a strong and fervent faith in Christ has helped Leon and I to thrive in our relationship. This is my marriage secret.