Spiritual Compatibility

compatibleCompatibility is one of the most popular topics in the online dating world. Experts agree that people in relationships don’t have to be compatible in every area, but there are a few areas of compatibility that should be present for a relationship to be successful. Let’s face it, the less stress your relationship has, the more the two of you will work together to support one another during times of stress. Believe it or not, punctuality or timeliness is an important area of compatibility. People who aren’t compatible in how punctual they are for appointments, engagements, dates and such will find one person always unhappy. Orderliness also rates high. People who are neat and orderly often find it difficult, if not downright challenging, to live with someone who’s a slob. Money and spending is an obvious area where there needs to be some commonality. More couples argue about money and finances than anything else. Of course, sex and intimacy is a crucial part of a relationship. It may be hard to gauge how sexually compatible you are at the beginning of a relationship, especially if you’ve made the commitment to not have premarital sex. Before marriage is the best time to discuss sexuality.

The one area that many young couples don’t consider, which is of supreme importance is spirituality and faith. Many couples who come from two different religious backgrounds can make their relationship work. However, talk to such couples and you’ll find that faith can be a huge issue— especially if children are involved. How important is faith in marriage? Furthermore, if you’re a Christian, what’s the importance of putting God first in your relationship? I believe that your level of commitment to Christ can have a profound impact on the success of your marriage.

In Christian circles, we call marriage to a non-believer being unequally yoked. Even though this is based on a Biblical verse, the term has become a cliche, lost much of its meaning, and become offensive to many.

“You are not the same as those who don’t believe. So don’t join yourselves to them. Good and evil don’t belong together. Light and darkness cannot share the same room. How can there be any unity between Christ and the devil? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? God’s temple cannot have anything to do with idols, and we are the temple of the living God." II Corinthians 2:14-16.

It’s hard to take the sting away from such a strong verse, but if you consider that we are discussing one of the most important decisions of your life, the intensity of the verse seems warranted. Really, the verse addresses the issue of compatibility in the area of faith and spirituality. If a person is not committed to the same faith, in this case Christianity, then there are far reaching ramifications. Furthermore, if a person chooses a lifestyle that goes against the principles of your faith, then your marriage will suffer and so will you. God calls us to be the kind of believers that live by his Spirit and not compromise with the things of this world.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2.

In marriage, Christian believers should follow God’s instructions because we know that his plans for us are good. We are to love and accept others, including people of other faiths, and we have to love them because that is God’s will and because that is what God does. Father God loves everyone no matter what, but we are not to marry them unless they believe that Jesus Christ is their Savior and Lord of their lives.

So will you consider marrying someone that wouldn’t love and accept what Jesus did for you? Will you raise your children to honor God? Will you be able to go to bed with someone that doesn’t acknowledge prayer as the catalyst of a good marriage?

If your answer is no, I applaud you because you are putting God first and that will already bring blessings to your marriage. God’s desire is that when you start the process of dating someone, you will ask about his or her faith and notice their level of commitment to Jesus.