4 Money Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before Marriage
Photo by Mikhail Nilov
A few weeks ago, Leon and I attended a church down in Orange County, where we learned from the pastor that Orange County has the most divorces in the United States.
The two main causes of this divorce rate, the pastor said, were infidelity and finances. Not because people didn’t have money—but because they had a lot of it.
Here are four money questions Leon and I believe every couple needs to talk about before getting married. These questions can help you get the money conversation started with your partner.
1. Are you a saver or a spender?
If your partner likes to spend every single penny they earn, that could be a problem if you are a saver.
Or if you love to spend money, and the other person wants to save all the time, that will eventually become a source of conflict in your marriage—unless you talk about it now. Different ideas about money don’t have to be a deal breaker, but the two of you will need to learn how to compromise.
Set a budget you both agree on, starting with these two key items:
1. Give to the Lord first.
2. Discuss how much you want to save each month, and set up a systematic monthly savings plan.
When you know in advance how much you’re going to save and how much you’re going to spend each month, this awareness allows you to sidestep a lot of tension and conflict.
2. What are your financial goals?
Get on the same page with your partner. Talk about the future, and make sure you have similar financial goals:
Do you want to own a home?
Do you want to have kids? How many?
Are you hoping to send the kids to a state school or to a private university?
Do you want to retire early?
How important is investing to you? What kinds of investments?
3. Does your partner want to honor God with their finances?
The starting point with money is understanding that the Lord owns everything. It is all His, and He gives it to us to steward. Does your partner believe this? How do they feel about being generous with others and giving back to the Lord?
Not every person falls into the “extremely generous” category, and this is okay. Generosity can be more evident in certain personality types. However, the desire to honor the Lord with your finances is an important part of every marriage and household. All of it is His money! Every good thing we have comes from Him (Jas. 1:17).
Speak to your partner about honoring the Lord with your finances, and see if the two of you agree about the details.
Do you believe in giving at church? What about to Christian organizations?
How much would you like to give each month?
4. As a couple, how much do you owe?
If you or your partner has a lot of debt, it is likely a good idea to postpone the wedding for a season—until a good portion of that debt can be cleared up. Don’t step into a marriage where debt is a heavy chain.
Ask your partner these questions:
What are their thoughts about debt?
How much debt do they currently have?
How do they feel about using credit?
Get the money conversation started with your partner.
Asking those questions can help form a connectedness between you and your partner, where you can more easily see your partner’s care for you and what your future marriage will look like.
Money does not have to be a weak place in your marriage. Instead, it can be something that draws you and your partner closer together.
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! For more about His amazing, unending love, check out Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.
Other articles from Salomé Roat and Becoming the One: