Are You Anxious About Being Single?
I talk with a lot of people who struggle with deep fears about singleness. What if God doesn’t want them to get married? What if this dream in their hearts never comes to pass? I can hear their fears as these dear children of God talk to me.
Over time a lot of us grow comfortable with our fears. Anxiety can become almost a constant in our thinking, and we’re just used to it. We don’t understand that there’s a possibility of freedom.
If you feel anxious because you haven’t met the right person yet, understand that this is an area of your life where your heavenly Father wants to draw close and comfort you. Don’t let anxiety tell you what you should do or pay attention to. Fear is a liar, and you don’t have to live that way—with the constant churn of anxiety in your stomach. It’s time to do something about it.
Beginning this very day, you can say “no” to fear and fill that place up with something much, much better that will build you into the strong person you want to be, instead of pulling you apart and stealing your joy.
The world is filled with invitations to be anxious. “You need to worry about this! This is a problem! You’re not protected here! You need to shore yourself up, or you might get hurt. You can’t really trust God to give you what you’re hoping for.”
But the truth is, you have a good Father who has beautiful, amazing plans for your life. Every time He whispers to your heart, “Don’t be afraid,” you can take Him seriously.
Why?
Because He’s your rear guard (Isa. 52:12).
Because He goes before you (Deut. 31:8).
Because He’s holding your hand and helping you (Isa. 41:13).
Questions People Ask
Do any of the following fears sound familiar? Have you ever wondered about these things?
What’s wrong with me?
Why am I still single?
Am I not smart enough?
Am I not attractive enough?
Am I not spiritual enough?
Am I doing something wrong?
If you find yourself asking those questions, take a step back and try to recognize WHY you’re asking them. What are you afraid of? What’s going on in your heart or in your thoughts?
With few exceptions, we all long to have someone in our lives who loves us, takes care of us, and is our partner in a romantic way. God created us for relationship and to go through the process of finding someone our hearts will trust.
But most of the time when we’re feeling anxious and under pressure, it’s because of one simple reason:
We’ve forgotten that God has a plan.
Renew Your Mind
All of us have something we’re still waiting for that seems like it isn’t coming to pass. All of us know what that feels like. The answer to our anxious thoughts is trust in God and the understanding that He really is in control.
When I look at the love story I share with my husband, I have proof that God has a plan. Something better than I expected. Something precious that’s made me into a better person. If He moved in my life, I know He will move in yours too.
If you recognize that you’ve allowed anxiety to plant roots in your thinking where your future marriage is concerned, take your thinking to God and ask Him to help you renew your mind. It’s time to come out from under the crushing weight of fear so you can experience the good life He has for you.
If you aren’t sure what to say to Him, here’s a simple prayer to get you started:
Father God, I know You have good plans for me and You will be utterly faithful in the fulfillment of those plans. I can trust You with my future marriage and in every other area that is a point of anxiety for me. Please come and comfort my heart where my future is concerned. Help me to hear Your voice in this season, and open my eyes so I can see how You’re already helping me. Every time I start listening to anxiety, please show me what’s happening and teach me a better way. In the name of Jesus, amen.
The next time you start feeling anxious, remind yourself of the truth instead. “I can trust my Father. He has a good plan in the works for me. I let go of my fear of bad things happening to me, and I take hold of the good plans of God.”
You matter to Him more than you think, and He’s bigger and better than you know.
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.