Christmas and Dating: Why You Should Give to Your Significant Other

Photo by Miroslava

Photo by Miroslava

For my first or second Christmas in the United States, Leon and I were invited to stay at his brother’s house and attend a family Christmas party. 

I was excited but also a little nervous because I was the “new girl” and didn’t know exactly what to expect. There would be many family members at this party, and I didn’t know all of them yet. 

Leon and I didn’t have a lot of money to spend, but we wanted to make sure the presents we gave were meaningful in some way. As I watched the others exchange gifts, I was able to see a little more clearly what a good gift can do for someone’s heart. 

One woman opened her gift from her husband and began crying in joy because she’d received the pair of beautiful antique earrings she was hoping for. Her husband received a Rolex watch, or so he thought, but she laughed and said, “It’s not a real one, honey. I have another gift for you.”

We are entering the Christmas season, a time when many of us give to those we love. But no matter the season, giving is important in a relationship because it has the ability to say, “You matter to me and I will show you with my actions, not just my words.” 

The Mindset of Giving

Most of the time, my husband has pretty simple tastes, but I have learned that there are certain things he loves. When he gets to open a Christmas gift, he grows so excited that one of my favorite things to do on Christmas morning is watch his joy. 

A mindset of giving changes the dynamics within us. Giving helps us learn to be selfless. We start to understand the concept of sacrifice—but the kind of sacrifice that is fun. 

When we hear the word sacrifice, many of us start to feel slightly nervous. We might say to ourselves, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Do I have to do this?” But true, healthy sacrifice is not a chore—it is actually a delight (Heb. 12:2). I am wonderfully satisfied when I know that I have just given my husband a gift that matters to him. I often have more joy in seeing his delight than I do in receiving gifts myself—and I love receiving gifts. 

Learning to Be a Giver in Your Relationship

When we choose to sacrifice for someone else, we get the joy of seeing that person grow, do great things, and be happy. That’s the power of giving.

There are days when I take a step back and check the state of my heart. I ask myself, “Am I truly helping my wonderful husband? Am I serving him and loving him the way he needs to be loved?” I want to make sure I am giving in the relationship and not being a taker only. 

In his article titled “Will I Always Be Single?” Danny Silk writes:

Marriage is not about getting, but giving ourselves to another person. So what kind of person do you want to be able to offer your spouse? When you focus on that, you will value yourself and eventually invest in a relationship with someone who has made the same effort.

It is possible for one or both parties in a relationship to take advantage of one another in a way God did not intend. Giving is important in a relationship because we, like Jesus, are here to give—not because it’s a “rule” of our faith but because giving to others is a true delight. 

Each of us is beautifully different, which is why discovering what your significant other really wants is an art. Pay attention to who they are, how they think, and what makes their eyes light up. What makes them happy?  

This Christmas, what special thing could you do to express your heart to the one you love?  


For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more.

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