Relationship Fears? Focus on What God Is Saying About You
Photo by Andres Ayrton
A dear friend of mine is dating a great guy. I can see God all over their relationship, and I fully believe God brought them together.
However, my friend sometimes finds herself struggling in her relationship because, sadly, it’s easy for her to believe the worst about herself. The negative things she thinks often creep in and influence her relationship.
Is it hard for you to believe good things about yourself? Do you tend to believe the worst?
Do you know—do you really know—what God is saying about you? When you do know what He’s saying, it will be easier for you to just be yourself. Then from that place of being who you are, you will be able to date your significant other even better and get to enjoy them at a level you couldn’t otherwise.
In my experience, many, many people tend to believe lies when it comes to themselves and dating relationships. That might be true especially for women, but male or female, all of us can struggle with issues of self-worth.
“Am I a good person or a bad person? What if I’m tainted? I want to be good and worthy, but what if I’m not?”
If we don’t know what God is saying, we can start to believe some things that aren’t true. Maybe we become convinced that we aren’t worthy of someone else’s love, or maybe we feel like we shouldn’t be trusted. “I don’t think this person would want me if he/she knew what I was really like. I don’t think I’m good enough for this person. I don’t think I’m truly lovable.”
In a relationship, we have to be open to the idea of God’s love for us.
The Lord made us precious and beautiful and completely new. We used to live within the realm of darkness, but we do not belong to that realm any longer! If we are thinking bad or dark thoughts about who we are, the answer is simple:
We need to accept the unconditional love God is offering.
We need to fall in love with Him in return.
We need to discover our value as His children.
When you know with all your heart that you belong to Jesus and that He treasures you, the Lord can heal your heart from all those lies that are trying to hurt you.
As this occurs, you will be able to do two important things:
1. You will be able to choose a person who will treasure you the way God intended.
2. You will be able to commit to them with faithfulness and steadiness, knowing God is with you.
Our identity comes from God.
He alone gives us our status. He made us His beloved children, His heirs. Living in our identity as His children means believing what He says about us—and He says we are good. His Word is filled with descriptions and declarations of His love:
God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good (Gen. 1:31 NASB).
As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved (Col. 3:12 NIV).
Because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you (Isa. 43:4 NLT).
Those are just three small things the Bible says about God’s wonderful, amazing love for you.
When the enemy tries to damage you, he will attack your identity, which is the core of who you are.
You might find yourself struggling with fears about “the real you,” insecurities, significant doubts about your heart and your worth, etc.
But whenever you find yourself in that position, you can respond the same way Jesus did: with God’s Word and the truth you know about yourself.
Jesus told the enemy, “The Scriptures say: Bread alone will not satisfy, but true life is found in every word that constantly goes forth from God’s mouth” (Matt. 4:4 TPT). The words that come from God’s mouth about who you are—those words are the absolute truth.
You get to do what Jesus did in Matthew 4. “This is what God’s Word says, and nothing else is true about me. I believe the Lord. When He says I am His child and that He made me a brand-new creation in Christ, I believe Him.”
I encourage you to find a partner who understands how God sees you.
Marrying someone who sees you the way He does is one of the greatest blessings of marriage. Reminding yourself of how God sees you is a balm for any number of traumas in your life. If you’re struggling with negative thoughts and emotions, having your mate lovingly remind you of what they know to be true about you helps you fight against those things and stand strong.
Become an expert on who you are in Christ, and keep your ears open to what God is saying about you.
If you have no idea what God is saying about you, or if you desperately want to know more of what He’s saying, check out my book, Becoming the One. It is filled with truth about His love and what this means for you and your relationship.
Does your heart need to remember who God is? Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! Other articles from Salomé Roat and Becoming the One: