Why Your Future Spouse Needs YOU to Know Who You Are
Photo by Ron Lach
When you know who you are, you are better prepared to have the marriage of your dreams. Knowing your identity is like finding the door that leads to the marriage God has for you.
This past Saturday, August 20, we hosted a True Identity Workshop at our church, and it was an incredible experience. God glorified Himself, and it was just beautiful to see the changed lives and people standing there in a higher degree of wholeness, because now they have a better idea of who they are.
Several of the stories from this weekend made me cry. The workshop is set up in such a way that many people hear from the Lord about who they are, and it is so powerful for them to receive this impartation directly from God.
In the last thirty minutes of the workshop, some of the attendees stood up and shared their identity statements, which they had crafted with coaching during the workshop. One woman had difficulty even reading her statement out loud, because it was hard for her to believe all the marvelous things God was saying about her. I know her experience that day was a great start to really taking hold of those words and blessing herself according to God’s truth about who she is.
That is what God wants to do with you too. He is saying better things than you can imagine.
When you know who you are according to Jesus, your heart will sing, and it will be easier for you to find a good, godly partner.
We live in a world where singles have more questions than answers. So much could be addressed in this generation. Every day people encounter depression and anxiety, and because they don’t know who they are, they can’t be secure. They can’t rest in who God says they are. Many people have a tendency to isolate, and they don’t trust that the Lord has the best in store for them.
This weekend, it was really amazing to watch as people read their identity statements and declared who they are in the eyes of Jesus. “This is who I am.”
Do you know who you are? Do you know how to find out?
The three pillars of BTO—the foundational truths this ministry is based on—are game changers when it comes to dating and marriage because they allow you to walk in your identity.
Think about these three pillars and how they apply to you. Ask the Holy Spirit what He wants you to know about these things, and write down what you sense He says.
1. We need the love of God. A huge part of our identity comes from receiving God’s love and loving Him in return.
Today, do you know you are loved? Do you really know this?
Knowing God loves us isn’t just a good idea or a churchy thing to talk about, but it actually helps us love our partner. For us to experience a close relationship with the person He has for us, we first need to experience His unconditional love.
Intentionality is key in this process. Just as we intentionally spend time with someone and get to know them, we spend time with our Father and get to know Him. We learn what His heart sounds like. We read His Word and get to know His character.
If you do not feel loved, or you find yourself doubting God’s love for you, do whatever you can to renew your mind in this area. What does the Bible say about His love for you? Start there.
2. We need the heart healing Jesus offers. As we are healed, we get to rejoice and walk in freedom, and the pain of the past no longer rules our life.
The other day, someone commented to Leon, “My son will never recover from this breakup.”
Leon didn’t correct the person, of course, because it wasn’t that sort of conversation, but he knew the person was mistaken.
No, he thought, that’s not true.
How does Leon know with such certainty that this young man can recover? Because he sees God healing people all the time! Both of us do. The Lord has a wonderful way of drawing close to the brokenhearted and binding up their wounds, so the person can be restored.
Even if you have gone through incredible heartache, the past does not define you. Healing is necessary so you can rediscover your hope and continue forward. Get to know yourself and your heavenly Father more, and set yourself up for the right relationship at the right time.
The Bible calls God the Healer, and He wants to heal. Healing is so very possible!
3. We need to know who we are in Jesus. When we understand our true identity, we don’t compromise our core values.
When we know who we are, we can make choices that line up with what we know is true.
“I am God’s child, and I know I am not alone.”
”He is my Father, and He has good things in store for me.”
“I am peaceful the way He is peaceful.”
“I honor everyone around me.”
It is so much easier to meet the right person when you know who you are and what is important to you.
The enemy wants to conceal who you are and get you to doubt. If he can, he will confuse you and push you into circumstances that God did not intend for you.
The adversary tempted Jesus about His identity. “If You are the Son of God,” he said the first two times. The third time, the enemy tempted Him about His destiny, calling, and purpose.
But Jesus responded every time with God’s Word. Eventually He said, “Away from Me, Satan. It is written, ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.’”
That, beloved child of God, is our destiny as well—to worship God and serve Him only. We do this through knowing who He is and walking in His reality—and in His reality, we find the truth about who we are.
May you come to know who you are, and may your heart rejoice as you love and worship the Lord from a place of healing and peace. He has good plans for you, and the more you know who you are in Him, the more you will realize He really does have good plans for you.
Do you long to know more about who you are? Check out my book, Becoming the One, available here on our website and also on Amazon.
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! Other articles from Salomé Roat and Becoming the One: