Want to Strengthen Your Dating Relationship? Allow God to Love You
Photo by Nathan Dumlao
Do you know, without doubt, that God loves you? And do you understand how much the awareness of His love matters in your dating relationship—and even more in your future marriage?
Some of us accidentally make the love of God “difficult.” We don’t understand that He loves us simply, just the way we are, and that His love is not based on the things we do for Him. Some of us were wounded and didn’t feel loved by our earthly fathers, so we have a hard time accepting God’s love today. Some of us might be going through a time of struggle and testing that will bring us closer to understanding how deep God’s love is toward us.
Others might say, “I don’t think I’m worthy of Your love, so I’m just going to stay over here and keep myself safe.”
Or “I do not trust Your love. I think that one day I will go too far, and you’ll decide I’m not worth the effort anymore. So it’s just safer if I don’t let You in.”
We can do this in dating relationships too. The love of God allows us to love another person. We love because He first loved us. That’s how it works (see 1 John 4:19). Knowing how much God loves us and really experiencing His love—that is the firm foundation for a dating relationship that will lead into marriage.
If you recognize that you’re having trouble letting God love you, here are a few small things you can do to help your heart get used to the idea.
1. Find a way to step into God’s presence, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
I am coming out of a season when I felt my love for God wasn’t as strong as it used to be. It’s embarrassing to admit this, because I knew that God’s heart kept on pursuing me day and night with so much love. Maybe it was the stress of the pandemic; maybe it was distraction or the busyness we all can fall into sometimes. But the Lord is refreshing me, and I can sense myself returning to my first love (Rev. 2:4).
The game changer for me in this season is spending more quality time with God. I’ve always known that Jesus loves me, but making time for Him in my day allows me to experience this truth all over again. Instead of just pushing through, I’ve been able to sit with Him more, which is causing my heart not just to “remember” Him—but also to love Him back. I try to stay in His presence until I know my worship has touched His heart.
What is one small thing you can do this week that would allow you to spend just a few minutes with the God who loves you?
Maybe it’s meditating on a verse from Scripture. Maybe it looks like going into your room, closing the door, setting the timer on your phone for five minutes, and just talking to Him. Or maybe it looks like going on a drive and thinking about Him. Be creative. The point is just to start giving Him your attention more.
When your heart knows the amazing, precious love of God, that love will shine out of you to the person you’re dating. In fact, to experience a close relationship with that person, you first need to experience the unconditional love of your heavenly Father.
2. Do one small act of “simple” worship.
Have you ever heard someone say that one day you’ll look back on your life and see that the small things were actually the big things?
Sometimes the same is true with God. Even small things can minister to His heart. If we’re feeling overwhelmed at the thought of His love, we might need a “small thing” at the beginning. That might be all we can give to Him, and that’s okay.
I’ve been listening to an old Vineyard song called “True Love,” written by David Ruis. This song is deeply ministering to my heart in this season, and it is helping me run to Jesus.
What is one small act of worship you can do for the Lord this week?
Find something that speaks to you, even if it speaks quietly. What stirs your heart when you think about it? What makes you think about Him? It could be playing a certain worship song on repeat, going for a walk and talking to Him, doing an act of service for someone else, etc.
As you do this small act of worship, try to keep the door to your heart open, so Jesus can come in. Allow the Lord to show your heart how much His own heart is for you. You will be amazed. Eventually you’ll also see how the knowledge of His love affects your relationship, especially if you’ve been dealing with anxiety.
3. Let the Lord know how much He means to you, even if you don’t “feel” it right now.
The truth is, you are the bride of Christ. The Bible says you are beautiful, pure, holy, and spotless. But if you’re like me, you sometimes have trouble allowing that truth to become your reality.
Humans do not like to yield. We are so busy and distracted most of the time, particularly now during Covid. We’ve gone through two years of life changes, testing, temptation, and watching the world shake. A whole lot of people are struggling with feeling hopeful right now. But when we choose to yield to what Jesus is saying to us, we discover life.
I love this verse from The Passion Translation:
Let him smother me with kisses—his Spirit-kiss divine. So kind are your caresses, I drink them in like the sweetest wine! (Song 1:2)
The translation editors include this note: “To enter the doorway of Jesus’ heart we must begin by saying, ‘Let him.’ We only bring him a yielded heart and must ‘let him’ do the rest. God’s loving grace means that he will be enough for us. We can ‘let him’ be everything to us. We don’t begin by doing but by yielding.”
We begin by yielding. My goodness, that is my story, and I think most people can relate! Isn’t it beautiful that we give Him our heart—and He does the rest?
What is one thing you can pray this week to express your heart to God and “let Him” more into your life?
It’s okay if your words are childlike and simple. “Lord, I want You to be first in my life. I want You to be the greatest thing I have. Be my Bridegroom. I am opening the door to You. Please come in with the breath of heaven. You have been pursuing my heart, and now I’m ready to know Your love at a deeper level.”
Where It All Starts
Eternity starts with a wedding. We are truly His bride—a pure and spotless one.
That’s what Jesus wants you to know today—that you are His beautiful, pure, spotless bride, and He yearns for your heart. Even if you feel completely undeserving, He deeply longs for that kind of spiritual intimacy with you, so you will know the breath of heaven. His Spirit is comforting you and transforming you, and He’s letting you know how loved and special you are.
His love is the start of your relationship and future marriage. When you know His love this way, you’ll be much more confident when it comes to loving your significant other.
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize. Other articles from Salomé Roat and Becoming the One:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.