The New Year’s Resolution That Will Change Your Life and Relationships


At a pivotal moment in my life, I asked God to help me and He did.  

Leon had flown thousands of miles to see me in Ecuador. He was meeting my family for the first time and hanging out with us, and I was a mess. I was terrified about getting to know this tall, handsome man from America at a more serious level and starting a real relationship with him. 

Fear has a way of shutting us down, and that’s what happened with my heart. I couldn’t tell what I actually thought about Leon and even became convinced I didn’t like him. 

Talk about cold feet! But just as the psalmist wrote, I cried out to God and He answered and set me free (Ps. 118:5 NLT).  

Anytime we are afraid, we have a choice. The first option is to cling to our fears and stay where we are, headed down fear’s path. If I’d embraced my fears when I was getting to know my husband, who knows what my life would look like today? 

But the other option is taking our fears to the Lord. He is the One who cuts through darkness. He lifts us up and sets our feet on the rock, where we can catch our breath and rest with Him. When I carried my fears about Leon to the Lord, He took them and changed everything. 

Yes, dating is a risk. Kris Vallotton has some interesting things to say about fear and taking the risk anyway:

You are never going to get rid of your fear of being hurt by sitting alone in your room, hoping that it goes away. You are going to overcome that fear by getting back on the horse and doing it again… You are not a victim! 

What Do You Want from God?

As we rapidly approach the end of 2018, I feel the Lord is revealing amazing truths and insight to the ones who search for them—to those who turn to Him. He loves to interact with His children; He wants to hear what we’re thinking and to answer our questions.

If you could ask God anything, what would you say? 

What do you want more information about? Is there anything that confuses you? Is there anything that grabs your heart, and maybe you don’t even know why? Are you afraid to take a risk and step into a relationship with a godly man or woman?

Jeremiah 33:3 invites us to go to God and ask Him our questions. He wants us to draw close to Him: 

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

What is a “great and unsearchable” thing you would like to know? 

As 2018 rolls over into 2019, don’t be afraid to seek out your heavenly Father and ask Him your difficult questions. You may want to write them down and include the date, so you have a “hard copy” of your requests. When God answers you—when He gives you wisdom about these things, when He takes your fears and gives you His peace—write down what He says.

Your Choice This New Year 

My friend, you are so important to the heart of your Father. He knows you better than you know yourself, and He loves you perfectly. He is not afraid of anything inside you—not even those places in your heart that may scare you, where you feel inundated with fear and shame.

Like any father with his beloved child, God just wants to hold you in His arms. When you run to Him, He is delighted with the attention you give Him and holds you close.

This sweet, sacred connection we have with the Father changes us and allows us to love and experience intimacy more freely in all our relationships. 

This year choose to give God your fears and heartache. Ask Him your questions and watch as He begins to unfold wonders in your life. 


For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more.

You can also order the book in SpanishClick here.