Are You Comparing Your Love Story with Someone Else's?

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom

Do you look at your friends or siblings and feel like you’re behind in life, especially where dating or marriage is concerned?

A lot of anxiety and frustration in dating occur because we compare our story with someone else’s.

“I should be married by now.”

“How did my friend find somebody so fast when I’ve been waiting this whole time?”

But God is doing a unique thing with you. Just as that is true with your gifts, calling, and personality, it is also true with your dating life. Your love story will not look the same as somebody else’s. God is creative and absolutely limitless—He doesn’t need to tell the same story twice.

Comparison causes problems:

But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! (2 Cor. 10:12 NLT) 

If you compare your love story with your friends’ stories, you will arrive at a conclusion that doesn’t match the amazing, beautiful story God is telling with you.

Here are two simple thoughts to keep in mind if you feel anxious and frustrated in your dating life:

The Lord loves your way.

The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
And He delights in his way. (Ps. 37:23 NASB)

The Lord delights in your steps. He delights in your path. Your way is beautifully unique—it is wonderfully you, and He loves the story He is telling with you, even if it doesn’t look the way you expected.

The Lord loves the desires He put within you.

Do you want to get married one day? That likely is a desire God has given you. 

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps. 37:4 NIV)

Your heart’s desires are another reason you shouldn’t compare your story to somebody else’s. Those desires are unique in certain ways. The Lord loves the desires He put within you, and they play an incredible role in your story.

This week, remember…

The worth of a story is found in the value God places on it, and He deeply values the story He is telling with you. He does different things with different people, and one story is not better than the next. He does not “measure” your story according to a story He is telling with someone else.

So be at peace, beloved child of God. If you feel frustrated or depressed because you aren’t where you expected to be in life, know deep in your heart that everything is going to be okay. You have not missed out. Good things are coming to you. You can trust the story God is telling.

Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! For more about His amazing, unending love, check out Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.