Are You Dealing with Fear in Your Dating Relationship?

Photo by Pereanu Sebastian

Is dating emotionally difficult for you—because of fear?

In fact, do you find yourself dealing with so much fear that it’s hard for you just to relax and enjoy the person God has brought into your life?

Here are a few things to consider as you trust the Lord this week.

You get to be brave.

When God asks you to be brave and trust Him in a relationship, it can feel terrifying, especially if you’ve experienced heartbreak in the past. There may be wounds in your heart that need to be healed, and you’re still learning to trust Him in those areas.

Fear doesn’t tell the truth. It will try to convince you that something is horribly wrong—when it’s possible that everything is good. That’s what happened with the Israelites when it was time for them to enter the Promised Land. They were exactly where they were supposed to be, but they said “no” because of fear (Num. 13:30–33). 

It might feel impossible to you right now, but you get to defy fear. You get to stand your ground and say “no” to fear and “yes” to what God is telling you about the person you’re dating. (There’s a prayer at the end of this devotional that might help you.) 

Let the Lord “worry” about your dating relationship for you.

Philippians 4:6–7 applies to so many things—even your love life.

Read it specifically with your relationship in mind. Take these words to heart and picture God saying them directly to you about your relationship:

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:6–7 NLT)

When you’re battling intense fear, you have to make the brutal decision to stop thinking about the scary thing and start thinking about the good thing instead.

In the beginning, this can feel “wrong” or even foolish, but again, the fear is lying. The Lord wants to carry the burden of fear for you, which means you don’t have to focus on it anymore. He’ll focus on it and then tell you the way you should go.

Let the Lord know what you need, because He loves hearing your voice. Trust Him to take care of the things you’re praying about. Also be sure to thank Him for the good things He’s doing in your relationship—because He is doing good things.

Instead of focusing on what might be wrong, focus on what’s right.

Choosing to set your mind on good things is part of Philippians 4:8. Be brave. Choose to drop the fear-driven thoughts, and dare to replace them with thoughts of hope.

Because you have hope! What is the Lord saying to you? What has He told you about your dating relationship? You can take Him seriously.

Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]. (Phil. 4:8 AMP)

*Ask the Lord to give you the strength you need to defeat fear.

Do you feel like you can trust the Lord in other areas, but you just can’t seem to trust Him in your dating relationship? If so, ask Him for strength.  

When we’re dealing with deep fear, sometimes it can feel like we just don’t have the ability to believe God and do what He’s saying. But there’s a simple, easy remedy when we feel that way. We can go to Jesus and ask Him for strength.

“Lord, I want to believe what You’re saying to me about the person I’m dating, but I’m having trouble letting go of this fear. Please give me the strength I need to stand firm in what You’ve told me. I know that I will see the good things You’ve promised. I know that You are with me and that You’re leading me, like Your Word says.”

It’s a big deal to fall in love, lower your walls, and let somebody come in and do life with you. It can be scary—but it’s so worth it.

What has God told you about your dating relationship? What good things has He said to you? Comment below!

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.