How Your Sense of Identity Affects Your Choice of Spouse
My good friend “Mary” found a marriage partner not once, not twice, but three times. With each of these men, she went to the Lord and asked if the marriage was His will.
The first time, she felt Him answer, “Don’t do it!” But she questioned whether or not that was His direction and married the man anyway. Not only was the marriage devastating for her, but it also mortified the people around her and the church where she was a member.
After their divorce, she met someone else. When she asked God about marrying this second man, she again felt like He said, “No.”
But again she doubted. She didn’t know the man very well, and after marrying him, she discovered he was unmotivated and just didn’t feel like working. She ended up being the one who maintained their home in every possible sense. She continued with him for as long as she could—until her father finally told her to do something before her marriage killed her.
Finally, during a time of singleness, my friend Mary met a very special man. She asked the Lord if this was His perfect will for her, and this time she felt like He said, “Yes.” An overwhelming peace surrounded her, and she knew this time was different and that trusting in God changed everything. She is happily married to this day.
You Get to Choose
God in His great love has given you the ability to choose. That is His gift to you. You could have many choices for a spouse—but God knows who the best person is for you. He will tell you when to take action, and He will lead you just as He led my husband and me. We grew up on different continents and spoke different languages, but God still led us to one another.
You’re reading this article because you’re interested in marriage. You want to find the one who will adore you for the rest of your days—and God wants the same thing. Your heavenly Father has a great plan for you in this area. Choose to trust His guidance.
Do You Have Trouble Trusting the Lord?
Consider the following truths:
1. It’s SAFE for you to trust the Lord.
As for God, His way is blameless;
The word of the Lord is tried;
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. (Ps. 18:30 NASB)
2. You get to live in perfect peace and be at rest with God, without any fear.
Behold, God is my salvation;
I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the Lord God is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation. (Isa. 12:2 ESV)
3. When God is your focus, you won’t be afraid.
You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you. (Isa. 26:3 NIV)
Think about how those verses apply to you. What do they mean for you as a cherished child of God?
Believe God’s Love for You
In the realm of relationships and marriage, it’s pretty easy to start entertaining lies about ourselves. I’ve found this is especially true for women. We often struggle with issues of identity and accepting love, and many of us believe we aren’t lovable or worthwhile. This belief can lead to negative relationships with men and settling for the wrong man.
What is the solution?
Male or female, we need to accept the unconditional love God offers us, fall in love with Him, and discover our value as His children.
When you know you belong to God and He treasures you, He can heal your heart from lies and past hurts. In this newfound freedom, you’ll be able to choose a person who will love and prize you the way God intended.
Do You Have Trouble Believing God’s Love for You?
Consider the following truths:
1. God chose you for His own, and He has made you completely clean before Him.
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. (Rom. 8:33 NLT)
2. Every day you get to accept His love for you with confidence.
But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength;
Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning,
For You have been my stronghold
And a refuge in the day of my distress. (Ps. 59:16 NASB)
3. The Lord’s love for you never fails, and you can entrust everything you are to Him, for He will be faithful.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life. (Ps. 143:8 NIV)
If those statements and verses feel like they don’t apply to you, here’s a simple exercise. Start proclaiming the Lord’s love over yourself on a daily basis. Make the choice to believe it even if it doesn’t “feel” true in the moment.
You were made for the tender love of the Lord. His love heals your wounds, and when you know—really know—how much He loves you, your heart will experience extraordinary peace. The amazing peace of God that enables you to make great decisions.
How would you like to date with confidence? How would you like to know who you really are and FINALLY be at peace with yourself? Join us for our True Identity Statement Workshop on July 25! Let’s explore the concept of identity—God’s way. Discover in a personal and specific way what God really thinks about you. Click here for more information.
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