Single for Valentine’s Day? Three Things to Think About When You’re Not in a Relationship


Have you ever met someone who seemed obsessed with getting married?

Sarah began imaging her wedding in first grade. Her plan was to get married young—at twenty, just like her parents did. Then she and her husband could finish school together and start having kids. She had everything planned out.

But today, Sarah has a problem. She is now twenty-two years old, and despite her best efforts, no one seems interested in dating her seriously. She doesn’t know why. Again and again she’s tried to make relationships work, but they always fall through. Trying not to feel like a failure, she keeps looking for the right guy who will solve her singleness problem and make everything better.

What would you say to Sarah? What would your advice be to someone who has a one-track mind when it comes to dating and marriage?

Here are a few things singles should consider if they find themselves overly focused on trying to change their “single” status:

1. The World Is Your Oyster

Here’s the deal. Singleness isn’t something that should worry you. It is actually a blessing. Especially when you are young, being single gives you the space you need to figure out who you are.

What do you like? What do you dislike? Where do you want to live someday? Do you want to go to school? What do you want to study?

2. What Are You Passionate About?

Now is a great time to figure out what you’re passionate about. What is on your heart? What do you lie awake at night dreaming about? What makes you sit up and take notice? Pursue these things, because they are often what God is leading you to do in life.

If you don’t know what your passions are, go to a few people who know you, men and women you trust, and see if they have any ideas. Sometimes we need an outside perspective in order to see what God is doing in our lives.

3. Expand Your Horizons

When a person is obsessed with “finding the one,” their focus is fairly narrow. It’s like their eyes close to the beautiful adventure waiting right in front of them. Their obsession doesn’t allow them to see the real value of other things, like helping people; pursuing a sport or other things they enjoy; expressing their heart—there are so many ways people can be gifted. We have these gifts because of God, so they are worth pursuing.  

If you’re having trouble keeping your gaze off a person who may or may not be in your life yet, try focusing a little more on the other desires you have. These things will help “distract” you from any anxiety you’re feeling in this area.

And depending on what God has put on your heart, you might just help save the world, too. 

Are you looking for a Valentine’s gift for your significant other? Get them a book that could revolutionize your relationship! Click here to learn more about Becoming the One by Salomé Roat.