Be the Best You: A Key to Dating, Love, and Happiness
Brian wants to get married. He feels like his life will finally start when he finds that special person, and as he’s nearly 30 years old, he’s ready for a change.
But when he mentions this to a coworker, she gives him a funny look.
“What?” he asks.
“Oh, nothing,” the coworker replies.
Slowly Brian begins to notice that people often give him odd looks when he talks about the future, and it bugs him, because he can’t figure out why. He finally decides to talk about it with his mentor, Russ, who is a pastor at his church.
“Why do people think it’s so strange for me to want to get married? Is it because I still live at home? Is that it? I don’t get it.”
“Well,” Russ replies after a moment. “What are you doing to make yourself ready for marriage?”
“What do you mean?” Brian asks.
“You talk about wanting to get married, which is really good, but what steps are you taking to actually prepare yourself for that outcome? You are a wonderful person. I love your heart for people and the way you want to serve them. You truly have so much to offer, but to be honest, I think you don’t have a high opinion of yourself. This makes it really hard for you to try new things and improve yourself.”
“Improve myself how?” Brian says.
“Well, practically speaking—what is one bad habit you could fix? Like biting your nails. I don’t think you realize how often you do this. This is a nervous habit that doesn’t help you in the long run. People notice bad habits and aren’t attracted to them, so when you want to start dating seriously, it’s good to start working on your bad habits. Doing this is a sign of self-awareness and self-respect. It is also a sign of your respect for your partner.”
Then Russ says something that really sticks with Brian, even years later, after he gets married: “If you want to marry an amazing person, you need to think ahead and prepare yourself so you will complement that person.”
Keys to Preparedness
If you’re looking for an amazing person, you need to be an amazing person. Consider the following suggestions:
1. Change What Needs Changing
Use your time of singleness to work on yourself. Become the one for your future spouse, because if you aren’t happy with yourself and your relationship with God, marriage isn’t going to magically take away your discomfort.
Marriage is not a good “fixer.” In fact, bad habits and fears can become more pronounced in marriage. But God knows what you need.
2. Really Get to Know God
To become the person you were made to be, one of the most important things you can do is get to know your heavenly Father, who has a plan for your life. A good plan. You can trust Him in this.
As you listen to God’s still, small voice, He will heal your heart and lead you into the perfect plan He has for you.
3. Unmask Your Heart
What do you love? What are your passions? Get in touch with your heart, and go after the things that make you come alive.
Find that place of peace, joy, hope, and freedom in who you are before you marry. Then when you do marry, you will be a mature, strong, and content spouse who is a blessing to your partner.