To the Love of My Life: Thoughts on 30 Years of Marriage
Photo by Jessica Roat
Thirty years ago today, I married the man I’d been praying for since I was a young girl.
When I consider how our relationship started, I can’t help but marvel at how thoughtful God is. He planned our love story and was 100 percent involved in it, because we asked Him to be, and He kept His end of the bargain.
God is the third Partner we need in our marriages so they won’t be shaken. This kind of relationship with Him isn’t out of reach for any of us. It isn’t reserved only for those who work the hardest or those who are the “most deserving.” It’s for me. It’s for you. It’s for those who come from healthy families and those who come from broken ones.
Praying for His help, listening to His voice, going to Him, asking Him questions, checking in with Him, doing what we can to make Him part of our lives—these are more than just good ideas in a marriage. They are the foundation of marriage. God will follow through, every time, with every little thing we ask Him.
So are you asking? Whether married or single, are you taking your marriage to the Lord in prayer?
Three Pillars of Marriage
Some people think that “good” relationships don’t have difficult moments, but that isn’t true. Marriage takes work. Sometimes a lot of work.
Even a “perfect” marriage still has growing places where both people are trying to find restoration and healing. Leon and I have things we’re still working on even thirty years later—things like surrender, forgiveness, humbling ourselves, and always thinking the best of each other.
But we’ve discovered what works. For Leon and me, three “pillars” have become a beautiful constant in our marriage. These three things keep our marriage healthy, and because of them, we never need to worry that something will happen and our marriage will fall apart.
Here are the three pillars that keep our marriage strong:
Understanding God’s perfect, unconditional love for us, as well as the desire in our hearts to love Him back and always delight in Him
The healing of our hearts and knowing that only God can heal the deepest parts of our wounds
Knowing our true identity as the beloved children of Almighty God
God is our foundation, our columns, our doors and windows, and the beauty we decorate the house with. He is truly everything to us. He has become our home and our dwelling place.
That, I feel, is the key that allows a marriage to truly thrive and to go where God wants it to go. Because of what God has taught us over the last thirty years and more, we’ve come to know one simple truth without doubt: that He is good and He wants all marriages to be good as well.
To the Love of My Life
Depending on the context, thirty is a big number. When we’re talking about a marriage, that number is the size of Noah’s ark! It’s a huge number that not many people get to see.
So here I want to take a few moments and honor the wonderful man my husband is and what the Lord has done for us. I know this may be a little more sentimental than usual…but today it’s really important to my heart to say these things.
Leon, you’re my best friend, my companion, my lover, my adventure-and-world-traveling partner, my politics-and-history-documentary-watching partner, my let’s-watch-our-favorite-movies-over-and-over partner, my funny dancing machine, my prayer partner, the man who has seen me grow and encouraged me to keep on trying and persevering in each of the dreams and passions of my heart, my man, my honey.
Thank you for never stopping your smiles, for your sense of humor, for loving me and really treating me like your queen. This anniversary is a big one, and we’ve had so many plans for it—and some of them are actually going to happen thanks to your persevering and loving nature!
We already have many great memories; we’ve shared so much laughter and also tears. Your generous heart and love for my Ecuadorian family amaze me. You don’t just “talk the talk,” but you live it and really walk it. I see Jesus in you every day. You have been my prince charming, my love, my first kiss, my first everything, and you will be the last.
I love you so much. Thank you for bringing joy to my life, all the time. Thank you for being my husband, the best father for our kids, a great provider, and our protector. I honor you today and always. You cherish me and pursue me with all your heart, and I love you more than you can ever imagine. I look forward to growing very old with you and continuing our long walks while holding hands and kissing.
I look forward to standing next to you, hand in hand, as we see a world transformed into God’s kingdom—for His glory.
All my love,
Salomé
To My Honey Lover (Leon’s Reply)
I could never quite come up with such an eloquent response to the beautiful post you did for our thirtieth anniversary, but I will give it a try.
Honey, you are my best friend, lover, and companion. You are there for me always when I need you most. You are always pointing me northward to God our Savior and Redeemer. God through His Son, Jesus, will always be the rock and the fortress of our relationship and our marriage.
And now to the funny part, which goes along with my personality...
You are always there to listen to my “razor-sharp political commentary.” You are patient with me even when you don’t agree with me on many things. You love to watch me dancing with my 1970s “Soul Train style,” and you do love to travel the world, even though sometimes it takes you hours just to get out of the bathroom...
You have a defective “packing gene” (maybe our family will only know what that means), but you are always willing to go somewhere, try something new, and celebrate every single birthday, wedding, holiday, baby shower, anniversary, Valentine’s Day, Groundhog Day, etc.
Thank you so much for thirty years of “the best day of my life.” You are a wonderful, beautiful, wise, and faithful woman of God, and will continue that until we go meet up with Jesus.
Thank you for having our three amazing kids—Christian, Amy, and Jessica—and helping to bring them up in the ways of our Lord Jesus.
Here’s to you, my queen. You have made me so happy, and the best is yet to come over the next thirty years.
I love you and God bless you,
Leon
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.