Valentine’s Day and the Beauty of Becoming the One

Photo by Anita Austvika

Every February, my heart fills with gratitude as I reflect on what Valentine’s Day truly means. Western culture often makes light of this day, but its history is deeply meaningful. Beyond the traditional flowers and chocolates, beyond going on dates and giving gifts, and even beyond enjoying your significant other, Valentine’s Day invites us to remember a much deeper story—one of covenant love, obedience to God, and joyful sacrifice.

At Becoming the One, we intentionally honor St. Valentine and the meaning behind this day. Valentine (circa 225–270 AD) was a saint who gave his life for the sake of God’s Word. During a time when the emperor forbade men and women from marrying, Valentine chose obedience to God over fear. He continued to proclaim God’s design for marriage and secretly united couples in covenant. For this, he was sentenced to death.

Valentine treasured God’s heart for marriage so much that he traded his life for it. That is what the marriage covenant is like. Giving everything for holy union with another person is the model God established for His people at the very beginning.

God’s Heart for Marriage

From Genesis to Revelation, God makes His love for marriage unmistakably clear.

First, He united man and woman as husband and wife, calling them into covenant with one another and with Himself—becoming one. In the New Testament, Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding, turning water into wine. And not just any wine—the best wine! Finally, Scripture points us forward to the ultimate celebration: the wedding of the Lamb, when Jesus will unite with His pure and spotless Bride.

Marriage matters deeply to God. It is sacred, intentional, and powerful. Jesus died so that His Bride—you and me—could be made ready for our marriage with Him.

3 Powerful Ways to Prepare for Marriage

At Becoming the One, we are continually reminded that before we focus on finding “the one,” God invites us to become the one. This happens through three foundational pillars He’s revealed to us as a ministry:

• Loving God
  Everything begins with God’s love. We love others well only when we’ve received His love for ourselves. His love transforms our hearts and teaches us how to love others the way He does.

• Healing Your Heart
  God wants to heal our wounds, emotions, and past traumas. Unhealed places can shape our beliefs, reactions, and relationships. True love longs to see healing, both in ourselves and in the ones we love.

• Knowing Your Identity in Christ
  Everything changes when we start to realize who we are, why God created us, and the purpose He placed within us. Our true identity is found only in Jesus, and this identity allows us to love freely, sacrificially, and with great joy.

Through those three things—love, healing, and identity—we become more like Jesus, which means we are better prepared for godly relationships and the wonderful marriage He has for us.

Love’s Pleasant Sacrifice

Marriage and relationships require sacrifice. But Scripture shows that this sacrifice is not heavy or miserable—it is a pleasant sacrifice, filled with purpose and joy.

Jesus is our example of how sacrifice can be joy-filled (Heb. 12:2). He set aside His divine privileges and gave His life so we could be reconciled to the Father. Sacrifice means choosing others over ourselves. It means putting aside our “rights,” even our need to be right, so that love can grow. It is dying to self so that another can flourish. And when love is real, this sacrifice brings joy—because we want to see the one we love healed, thriving, and walking fully in their God-given identity.

John 15 says, “There is no greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” This includes your spouse.

What does sacrifice look like in daily life? 

A host of beautiful things! But mostly, it looks like submitting to, surrendering to, and serving the one we love. This is true for both parties. Specifically, husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Jesus died for the Church, and Scripture expects husbands to lay down their lives for their wives in a similar way. Not unto death in most cases, but with the same willingness and passion.

For both men and women, true sacrifice flows from surrendering to God and praying a prayer like this one:

“Lord, help me love my spouse the way You love them. Help me see myself through Your eyes and love myself the way You do.”

That is the heart of the family culture we are building at Becoming the One. We pray for couples to live with hearts of surrender and sacrifice, not out of obligation but joy, because this is where life is found. Like the old adage says, the more we give, the more we receive. This is especially true with God’s love. There is always more of it.

Big Faith for Godly Love

You might feel like true love is impossible, but this Valentine’s Day, I want to encourage you to live with big faith! Jesus says in Matthew 17:20 that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. God can supply what you need for your spouse. Nothing is impossible with Him.

Through faith and the willingness to sacrifice for others, we can have marriages that bless our children, our future generations, and a world desperately in need of Jesus. When we trust God, He brings the breakthrough we need, restores completely what has been broken, and produces good results that last.

Becoming the Bride

Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb. (Rev. 21:9 ESV)

Jesus is waiting for His wedding. (If you are single, perhaps you know what this waiting feels like!) As believers, we are His Bride, and He has done everything for us, given everything to us. As we realize how much He loves us, loving Him back becomes the only option. He is the desire of nations (Hag. 2:7 ISV).

As we become the one for our spouse and for Jesus Himself, we will see miracles in the form of generations transformed, marriages restored, and lives shaped to reflect the Savior.

This Valentine’s Day, meditate on the beauty of Jesus’ love for you! Keep becoming the one—and keep blessing the special one God has entrusted to you.

❤️ Be blessed and happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️

Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! For more about His amazing, unending love, check out Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. On sale for a limited time!