What Do You Do If Something Needs to Change?

Photo by Sammie Vasquez

Photo by Sammie Vasquez

Have you ever dated someone you knew wasn’t right for you, but you kept dating them anyway? Or have you ever known something needed to change in your life, but you just…had a hard time making the change?

Why can it be so hard to stop, turn around, and go a different direction? If something in your life needs to change, here are a few things to consider.

1. Put the Situation in God’s Hands

This article focuses mainly on relationships, but these steps could be applied to any situation in your life that may need to change.

Start by putting the situation in God’s hands. That may sound simplistic, but putting something in His hands is one of the best things you can do when you’re confused. If the situation or relationship isn’t His will, He will let you know.

The only way something can get better is if you surrender it to your heavenly Father. This allows you to approach God and receive what you need from Him. He can show you what it is like to be healthy in this area that is currently difficult. Give God a chance with this and see what He does.

This is a major key to changing your circumstances: entrusting to God this thing that is causing you pain and confusion.

2. Figure Out Why You’re Allowing the Situation

When you find yourself in a situation that is doing you more harm than good, step back and ask yourself why you’re allowing the situation to continue. Take a good look at who you are—who you really are—and try to bring your true identity to the surface.

Take care of yourself, and seek to understand why you’re allowing something that hurts you to be a part of your life. It could be that an area of your heart needs to be healed.

3. What Is God Saying?

Ask yourself if God wants you to be in this situation or relationship. He is the One who loves you the most, cares about you the most, and wants the best for you. Learn to ask Him questions and listen for His still, small voice, remembering He speaks in different ways.

You are an incredibly valuable person. Often when we stay in painful situations, it’s because we don’t realize how much value God has given us. Learn to see yourself the way He sees you, and strengthen your relationship with Him.

4. Seek Prayer from a Trustworthy Friend or Mentor

Find a friend or mentor who can pray for you during this difficult season. Whenever we don’t know what to do or are struggling to find our way, knowing someone is praying for us helps our hearts and gives us strength.

If you recognize you need to get healthy in a certain area, one of the best things you can do is hang out with people who are healthy in that area. Try to emulate their behaviors and relationships. Get together with friends who can help you and show you what a positive version of this situation looks like.

5. Be Willing to Wait for God’s Best

How do you learn what is God’s best for your life? It is a matter of getting to know Him better and learning to trust Him.

To get a better idea of who God is and your worth in His sight, it might be helpful if you read my book, Becoming the One. A couple of readers have told me, “I don’t know why I’ve been dating this person.” It’s like God revealed their worth to them as they read the book. They realized God has a good plan for them and they shouldn’t settle for anything less than His best.

Perhaps as you read the book, He will do the same for you.


For more information on discovering your worth and identity, get a copy of Salomé’s book, Becoming the One. Click here to learn more.