What If You’ve Gone Too Far?


My friend “Miriam” grew up in a Christian home, but her parents were pastors who didn’t show her affection. They emphasized rule keeping and God’s judgment, and they showed little grace when Miriam made mistakes. She felt abandoned for much of her childhood and eventually began to look for affection from men. She tried to fill the void with physical relationships, drugs, and alcohol.

After years of decadence and failed relationships, she realized something. She’d hit rock bottom, and the emptiness in her heart would be filled only with a relationship with Jesus.

“I realized God was the only One that could offer a perfect and unconditional love,” she told me. “Because I’d grown up in the church, I knew how to find a way back to the Lord and so I started to pray. The Lord showed me an invisible wall that was protecting me from evil and I started praying more. I prayed a simple prayer: ‘Jesus, You get me out of this and I will be forever Yours.’ That was it. My eyes were open, and I literally packed my bags and left, not looking back.”

How to Get Rid of Guilt and Shame

The Word of God says it is His kindness that leads us to repentance. His work on the cross gives us all we need to be pure. No matter our history, our guilt, or the shame we carry after making a poor choice, God is loving and kind, and He will help us become whole again.

Even after a damaging relationship, when we know we’ve crossed the line, there is grace.

If you’re dealing with guilt and shame, take the following steps:  

  1. Ask Jesus to show Himself to you. Sensing His love and presence will prepare your heart to let go of its pain.
  2. Tell Him you are sorry for not realizing the good things He wanted for you.
  3. Ask for forgiveness and place your sin on the cross of Jesus. Ask Him to take the weight from you and cleanse you.
  4. Stay in a place of gratitude for what He is doing. Keep your heart open to receive more of His love.
  5. Ask Him what He wants to give you in return for the pain. What is His gift to you for surrendering this area of your life to Him? He will speak to you in different ways. Some of the more common ways are an impression, a passage of Scripture, a thought, or a picture in your mind.

The Great Kindness of God

God removed Miriam’s addictions and restored her. He gave her a healing experience that can never be taken from her. She understands now that her relationship with Jesus is the most amazing—and fun—part of her life, and her testimony brings hope and restoration to others who have gone through similar experiences.

God is the Healer, and He is the first One interested in making us whole. Healing brings restoration, and restoration brings freedom to become more like Jesus. As we grow closer to Him, we become better people, better companions, and—one day—better spouses.

For more information about how you can prepare for marriage right now, click here to pre-order Salomé’s book, Becoming the One.