When Mr. Wary Falls for Miss Sassy: An Interview with Brooke
Photo by Luis Tosta
In the following interview, Brooke (39) talks about how she met and fell in love with her husband, Kevin. They married six years ago in California. God loves to play a role in our marriage and dating stories! For proof, just keep reading…
BTO: How did you meet Kevin?
Brooke: I met him at a young adult group in 2012 where I was part of the “welcome wagon,” so to speak. He always sat in the last row, several rows away from everyone else. I remember one day I made him join the ranks whilst thinking to myself, He’s not going to like me for this, but I don’t care. He needs to make friends and I’m going to help him. I was successful—he made friends. He thought I was cute but mean for making him sit by people he didn’t know!
One Sunday after work, I went to Sunday night service a little late and feeling totally exhausted. Kevin was sitting in the bleachers with an open seat next to him. I knew who he was from young adults, and I saw him as the boring guy who never said anything during our Saturday night home group. That’s where my head was up until that point. Anyway, I asked if I could sit next to him. I was cold and confiscated the sweater he wasn’t using. (I’m pretty sure I asked to use it. He’s not so sure.) That was the beginning. I regularly began to sit with him in the bleachers on Sunday nights.
BTO: How did you know he was interested in you, and what did you do about it?
Brooke: Well, to be fair, we weren’t interested in each other. When I met Kevin, I was in love with an Aussie—a man I knew wasn’t the one. It wasn’t until a couple of years later that interest between Kevin and me began to rear its head.
That fall God had told me that my husband was coming soon, wouldn’t be who I expected, and it was going to happen quickly. I, being a girl, made a list of people I wouldn’t expect, and Kevin didn’t even make the list!
Also one night I had a dream that I was in the passenger side of a Jeep. When I woke up, I told God, “I don’t know anyone with a Jeep!”
In January I went on a date with a musician from Tennessee. The girls at home group all knew it was going to happen, and so they asked me about it as soon as I stepped in the door that Saturday night. Kev was sitting in his recliner across the room, and I visibly saw his shoulders sag.
“Well,” I said to myself, “that’s weird. I definitely just saw that.”
The following week, people who hadn’t been at home group the previous week asked about my date. Again there was that droopy-shoulder action from Kevin. Yup, I definitely saw that. That’s when I started throwing out “bones.”
My birthday is in January, and some friends invited me out to their place for a belated birthday dinner. They told me to invite some people. I sat at the kitchen table, staring at my phone for probably twenty minutes because I was about to text and invite Kevin to dinner. I was over dramatic for sure! I remember thinking, This could be the best or worst thing that you ever do. Wow, dramatic much?!
Finally I texted him. He played it cool but said yes.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, Kevin was in turmoil. He thought I was possibly dating someone, and right before I texted him, he called his brother to tell him about me and try to figure out what he should do. That’s when I texted and invited him to dinner—God figured out the potentially sticky situation for him.
Kevin picked me up and took us all the way out to my friends’ house, which impressed me because it was a bit of a drive. You know, in his Jeep. I didn’t even realize what I was riding in until after dinner on our way back to my apartment.
I told him I was glad he was the one I’d invited, that I’d had a great time, and that I’d like to do it again. He reciprocated. A day or so later, he texted me and formally invited me on a date, and we went to Outback for dinner the day after Valentine’s Day. It was an awesome date, and the rest is history. He took too long to ask me to be his girlfriend, so I asked him to be my boyfriend on his birthday, just over a week later. We flew out to New York to meet his parents in May, got engaged in September, and married in March. Thirteen months total from dating to marriage.
BTO: What did God teach you while you were waiting to meet the right person?
Brooke: I told God that I didn’t want to get married until I had my student loans paid off because I didn’t want to start a relationship in debt. I had just paid off my loan a month or so before Kev showed up. I also told God that I wanted to marry a virgin and marry into a family whose family unit was in tact, loved each other, and loved Jesus. Of all the things I really wanted but never thought I’d get, I got those things and so much more. It was a witness to me that God had been working on my desires before I was even in diapers.
Kevin’s parents choosing each other and Jesus. Kevin keeping his virginity when most guys his age hadn’t. Me asking God for those things, and God answering my prayers from a starting point that was prior to the prayers I prayed. So miraculous. Kev also wanted to marry a virgin. We both waited for each other, and I think God honored that.
BTO: What do you think is the most important thing for singles to know or do as they wait for the right person?
Brooke: Work on yourself. Be someone you’d want to marry. Do you want to marry someone reliable? Be reliable. Do you want to marry someone who is responsible? Take responsibility for yourself first. All the things you desire from someone else you should be willing to reciprocate. Find someone who you complement. Find someone with similar and different strengths—that way, you can connect but can also cover each other’s weaknesses and bring strength.
Find someone you can have fun with but also talk about deep things with. Figure out your nonnegotiables vs. things that don’t or won’t really matter to you in the long run.
Enjoy your alone time with God. Enjoy the gift of singleness and the freedom that comes with it.
Remember that God hasn’t forgotten you. Be willing to risk. Oh yeah—and when you find someone you like, get off your phone! Work on your communication skills—you’ll need those in a marriage. Be present.
And when you find the person who you feel fully alive and safe being yourself around, and vice versa, that’s the one.
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.