When Waiting for Your Future Spouse Gets Tough


I have a friend who is in her forties and struggling because she’s still single. She can hear her biological clock ticking away, and no doubt, it has gotten louder over time. Like many others, she has waited for years for something that hasn’t happened yet.

What are you supposed to do if you’ve been waiting and hoping to find that right person, but even after a long, long time, it seems like nothing has changed and you’re right where you started? 

Embrace the Adventure

Somehow many of us have gotten it into our heads that being single isn’t as good or as “complete” as being married. We tend to view singleness as a failing, but that isn’t what singleness means. Being single is an adventure, not something we should ever feel embarrassed about. 

If you’re in a season of singleness right now, see it for its possibilities. Get to know yourself. Pursue God and internal health, and practice contentment. 

As many people have said, life is what we make of it. Fear has a way of coloring our view of the world and what God is doing. The answer to our hearts doesn’t come from a relationship with a spouse but from a relationship with Jesus, something we don’t have to wait for; we can have it right now. 

Whenever we feel alone and start yearning for that special connection with someone else, Jesus is an amazing companion. He will give us the desires of our hearts as we delight in Him, because He is faithful. 

Singleness is never something we need to worry about.

Choose Fearlessness

I know several people who found their perfect match in their fifties and sixties, and to them, the wait was worth it. One of the ladies in my women’s group recently got married after a long wait. She was approaching forty years old, and God has been faithful to her. She decided to trust her heavenly Father instead of being afraid, and eventually she went on a mission trip and met this guy. She wasn’t even looking for someone, yet that is when God brought her husband. With the Lord, it is a mystery and a beautiful journey of knowing His heart. 

Pray for Open Doors

If you are about to lose hope in this area of marriage, the best advice I can give you is to be active in your first love. Pursue Jesus and, second, pray about which doors God is opening for you and which circles He wants you to enter to meet someone. Maybe you could start hanging out at the gym more often, or maybe He puts on your heart to try online dating. Perhaps you shouldstart going to that new home group at your church. 

Pray for godly encounters. Let Him lead you…and understand how much He wants to. 


For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more.