3 Common Fears About Dating
Does the thought of dating make you anxious?
Does it feel like there are too many variables? Or that something could go wrong?
Do you feel apprehensive about letting someone close to you again?
Here are three common dating fears—and why you don’t need to worry about them.
1. “I’m afraid of making a mistake.”
This fear trips up so many people—not just in dating relationships but in every area of life. How can you know for certain that you’re making the right choice? The question seems almost impossible to answer.
But the amazing thing is, you don’t have to listen to this fear.
You are a child of God, and He is very interested in your welfare. If your heart is to do what He is saying, then you can rest assured that He is leading you. The Bible is very clear that you can hear His voice:
The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep respond to his voice. He calls his sheep by name and leads them out of the pen. (John 10:3 NOG)
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. (Jer. 33:3 NIV)
The next time the enemy tries to pull you into the fear that you’re making a mistake, refuse to believe him. “No. God is with me, and I trust that He is leading me.”
Journaling idea: If this is a fear you wrestle with, ask the Lord to show you how safe you are with Him.
2. “I’m afraid I’m not good enough for this person. They deserve someone better.”
Many people feel like their love isn’t good enough or that they can’t be trusted. Not because they plan on doing bad things, but because they believe there is something innately wrong with who they are as a person. “I can’t perform well in relationships. I’m going to fail.”
Matthew 14:17–19 paints a beautiful picture of God and what He’s like with us:
They said to Him, “We have nothing here except five loaves and two fish.” And He said, “Bring them here to Me.” And ordering the crowds to sit down on the grass, He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looked up toward heaven. He blessed the food and breaking the loaves, He gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. (NASB)
We might believe we can’t measure up or that we can’t give God (or the person we’re dating) anything of great value, but it is amazing what Jesus can do with small things. You are enough—because of Jesus. All of heaven backs you up.
The next time the enemy tries to convince you that the “gift” of yourself and your love isn’t enough, refuse to believe him. “No. What I have to give is more than enough. If I am good enough for Jesus, then I am certainly good enough for the person I’m dating.”
Journaling idea: Spend time with the Holy Spirit, and ask Him what He really thinks of you. When you know what He is saying, take it seriously and believe it as truth.
3. “I’m afraid there aren’t any good men/women left. All the good ones are taken.”
Many people fall into this dating trap because it sounds logical, but it is actually a poverty mindset.
Stephen K. De Silva, the founder of Prosperous Soul Ministries, says, “A poverty mindset is the expectation that there is never enough.” How many times have you heard yourself or somebody else talk that way about dating? “All the good ones are taken!”
God might be saying, “I have the perfect person in mind for you,” but do you have room to believe Him when you also believe “all the good ones are taken”?
What the Lord is saying is more powerful than what anyone else is saying. If He told you you’re getting married, then there will be enough for you. This is a matter of faith, and it does not rest on human logic or what the world is saying. There will be enough.
The next time the enemy tries to convince you that you’re too late or there’s not enough for you, refuse to believe him. “No. I know what God has said, and there will be enough for me.”
So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed. (Ex. 16:17–18 NLT)
Journaling idea: Spend time with the Holy Spirit, and ask Him to speak to you about His endless provision.
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! Check out these other devotions:
To learn more about the AMAZING love of God, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.