3 Days of Healing: Are You Comparing Your Love Story with Someone Else’s?

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi

Are you comparing your love story to someone else’s?

When we realize how delighted God is with us, we start to understand why it’s okay if our love story looks completely different than everyone else’s. If He made us to be unique individuals, our love story will be unique too.

It’s easy to observe other people (in real life and in fiction) and make assumptions about the future. Some of us have a long list of expectations based on what we’ve seen around us:

“This is what it looks like to meet the right person.”

“This is what falling in love looks like.”

“This is how my future spouse will think. This is the career they’ll have.”

“This is how they’ll relate to God. This is what their relationship with Him will look like.”

Not all of these ideas are necessarily “bad,” but God loves uniqueness and creativity. Your love story might be radically different than what you think it “should” be, and you’ll need to be comfortable with God taking you down a path you maybe didn’t expect.  

Here are three days of journaling activities that can help you see your own unique beauty and realize that God is doing something amazing with you—something new and different.

May your heart come alive in unexpected ways as you do these activities.

Journaling Day 1

You Are God’s Prize, and the Story He’s Telling with You Is Beautiful 

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,

And He who formed you, O Israel:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;

You are Mine.” (Isa. 43:1 NKJV)

Why is this important? When you know how much God delights in you, you won’t “measure” yourself against others nearly as much. You’ll also have an easier time understanding how much He delights in your love life. Trust the Lord, and be willing to step out into the unknown with Him.  

Journal your thoughts: Does your heart understand how much God loves you? Or when you think of Him, do you feel fear or unworthiness? Read Isaiah 43:1 slowly several times, and let the Holy Spirit speak to you. Ask God what this Scripture means specifically for you, and write down what you feel He says—even if His words seem too good to be true. Pray about them, and He will show you what’s true.

If you aren’t certain what to pray, start here: Father God, thank You that I do not need to compare my story with anyone else’s. Would You open my eyes so I can see how much You delight in me? Please increase my faith in this area, and help me to understand that I am Your treasure.

Journaling Day 2

Be Prepared for a Unique Love Story, Because Everything About You Is Unique Already 

He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might feel around for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, “For we also are His descendants.” (Acts 17:26–28 NASB)

Why is this important? You are unique in your thoughts. You are unique in your tastes and preferences. You are unique in your calling and dreams. So of course you’ll be unique in your love life. If you feel like your love life needs to look a certain way in order to be “real,” try to let that assumption go, and rediscover the joy of just being yourself with the Lord. He crafted you to be you, on purpose, so you would feel around for Him and find Him. You don’t need to look like anybody else, and it’s okay if your love story takes you by surprise.

Journal your thoughts: Especially if you’ve been single for a while, you might have a “This Is What a Real Relationship Looks Like” list in your head. These lists can be helpful in certain ways if you grew up in a broken home and have no idea what a good relationship looks like, but at the same time, realize that what God does with you will be different than what He does with others. There will be some similarities, but there will also be distinct differences. Ask the Lord if there are any places in your “relationship thinking” where you are making assumptions or comparing yourself with somebody else. Write down what He says, and ask Him to help you be open to all the good things He has for you.

If you aren’t certain what to pray, start here: Father God, I give You the “ideal spouse” I’ve built in my head, as well as all my ideas for the perfect relationship, and I invite You to lead me into exactly what You have for me.

 

Journaling Day 3

Get Ready for an Adventure! Because God Loves Doing New Things 

But forget all that—
    it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. (Isa. 43:18–19 NLT)

He put a new song in my mouth,
    a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
    and put their trust in the Lord. (Ps. 40:3 ESV) 

Why is this important? When we understand how God loves doing new things and telling new stories, we become more comfortable with the idea of experiencing new “lands” with Him. Places we’ve never been.

Journal your thoughts: Ask the Lord to show you how you are “new.” Where do you look like Him, and you didn’t even know it? What is He saying about “new things” and your dating life? Are you comparing yourself with someone else when God is saying, “I am doing a new thing with you”? Take notes on what He shows your spirit, and pray about these things. Try to return to this entry in your journal several times, and meditate on His voice. 

If you aren’t certain what to pray, start here: Lord, thank You for the adventure You have crafted for me. If there are any areas in my heart where I don’t feel brave, where I’m afraid to go on an adventure with You, please help me trust You. Take my hand and lead me forward. I know You are doing a marvelous thing with me, and I know my love story will be so much better than anything I’ve expected.

Child of God, you are precious in His sight. May your heart overflow with hope for your future marriage—and get ready for an adventure! Your love story will be amazingly, refreshingly different than every other story you’ve heard.

For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.