Why You Can Expect to Have a Great Marriage
Photo by Erin Palos
Do you ever listen to your friends talk about their relationships and inwardly cringe?
“Wow. I can’t believe she chose that guy. He treats her horribly.”
Or “I can’t believe he puts up with her. She constantly tears him down and talks about other guys right in front of him.”
Some of us are apprehensive about marriage and compatibility because we have seen painful relationships that leave us wondering, “If that is what marriage is…why get married?”
But you don’t have to settle for a poor marriage!
Finding the right person isn’t just a random possibility that some people hit and others don’t. You can know for sure you’re making the right decision.
Marrying the right person begins with thinking the right thoughts.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7 NKJV)
Everyone who believes in Jesus has the ability to think well. Second Timothy calls this a sound mind. Good, godly thinking leads to good, godly choices, while poor thinking can lead to poor choices.
Unfortunately, the world is filled with hurting people who don’t know how to choose marriage partners wisely. Poor thinking influences their decision-making. For example, if someone believes they aren’t worth very much, they will likely look for a spouse who treats them the way they expect to be treated: as someone who isn’t worth very much. They don’t do this intentionally, but they are acting on their expectations.
This month at Becoming the One, we’re discussing compatibility and a culture of hospitality (being gracious with others). It’s amazing how much a good marriage is built on right thinking—about yourself, about your spouse, and about the Lord.
Right thinking requires dependency on God.
The Lord made us and we are His (Ps. 100:3). What He says about us is the absolute truth about who we are. Romans 12:3 is foundational for compatibility:
For I am telling every single one of you, through the grace that has been given to me, not to have exaggerated ideas about your own importance. Instead, develop a sober estimate of yourself based on the standard which God has given to each of you, namely, trust. (CJB)
Do you trust God’s heart for you?
Do you know what He’s saying about you?
Are you allowing His thoughts to influence yours? That’s the marriage game changer.
When you know who you are in Jesus, and your heart is soft toward the Holy Spirit, He can bring your spouse at the right time, and you won’t need to worry about whether or not your marriage will be healthy and full of hope—it will be. You won’t need to worry if you’re truly compatible with that person—you will be. In fact, you’ll likely be amazed at how much their heart aligns with yours.
You won’t agree on every little thing, of course, but in the things that matter, the two of you will find common ground. You will be able to worship the Lord together, as husband and wife, in the best of ways.
If you aren’t sure who you are in Jesus or you would like to grow in understanding His love, join one of our BTO groups! We want you to experience the Lord’s love, healing, and identity so you can be everything He has called you to be in life and marriage. ❤️ Click the button below!
Your heavenly Father loves you more than you realize! For more about His amazing, unending love, check out Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more. The book is also available in Spanish.