How to Be Single on Thanksgiving
Being single during the holidays isn’t always easy. So I want to take a few minutes to brush off any cobwebs of despair and speak life back into your heart if it’s feeling weary.
In times of singleness, perspective is vital.
Thanksgiving and Remembrance
One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions occurs around the dinner table.
One at a time, we go around and share something God has done for us that year. Some things are serious and some lead to laughter—whatever it looks like, this tradition is beautiful because we’re publicly honoring the movements of God in our lives.
We are worshiping Him through remembrance, like His Word talks about (Ps. 77:11). Such a thing is sacred.
Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me. (Isa. 46:9 NIV)
Giving Thanks Leads to Peace
The words thanksgiving and gratitude fill the air like snow flurries around this time of year, but the repetition doesn’t lessen their power. It’s strange how powerful thanksgiving actually is.
As a single person, your thanksgiving plays a key role in your mental and emotional health, as well as your sense of internal peace:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:6–7)
The next time you find yourself feeling alone, left out, or forgotten—the best way to run to the Lord is by finding something you’re thankful for and speaking it out loud.
“Father, thank You that I have a roof over my head. Thank You that my car runs. Thank You for my favorite sweater. Thank You for this cup of coffee. Most important of all, I’m thankful I have YOU.”
It might feel a little unnatural at first to thank God even for small things like a cup of coffee, but this simple practice carries great weight in the spiritual realm.
Making the Most of This Season
If you find yourself single this Thanksgiving, here are a few ways you can say “no” to discouragement/fear and fill your heart with worship instead:
1. Focus on what you HAVE, not on what you DON’T have.
If you focus on being single, you’ll become more and more aware of your singleness and how you’re still waiting to meet your spouse. But if you focus on everything God has given you, you’ll become more and more thankful, lighthearted, full of peace, full of joy—the list is endless. As a single person, it is vital you learn how to worship in this season so your heart doesn’t grow bitter because of the wait.
2. Don’t isolate.
When we feel discouraged, sometimes we start saying, “What’s the use? I might as well just stay home.” Some people, because of pain, try to pull away during the Thanksgiving and Christmas season. Rebuke hopelessness in your life by purposefully choosing to connect with your loved ones. Express your heart to family and friends. Do something special to show them how much they mean to you. This could be a simple thank-you note to the hosts of your Thanksgiving dinner. Or it could be more elaborate like buying someone a gift, spending time with a friend you haven’t seen in a while, cooking a special meal for your roommate, etc.
3. Start a tradition that will continue into your married life.
You don’t have to be married to lay the foundations for some awesome traditions. What do you love? What would help make Thanksgiving Day feel more special? Go do those things. Go on the hike. Make the donuts. Get the weird flavored creamer you love. Watch that Christmas movie that makes you cry every single time.
4. Write down what you’re thankful for.
When we acknowledge what we’ve been given, it has a powerful effect—a bigger effect than what we can see and feel in the moment. This list you write will be worship in a sweet and lovely way.
When we think about who and what the Lord has brought into our lives, we will find we have more to be thankful for than what we expected—even during a long wait.
Interested in reading more about dating, relationships, and your walk with God? Here are a few articles on related topics:
For more information on sex, marriage, and finding the person who is right for you, get a copy of Becoming the One by Salomé Roat. Click here to learn more.
You can also order the book in Spanish.